Creative Story Telling

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Crayola13, Jan 22, 2019.

  1. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I have so many mixed feelings about this. Since my son was a little kid, I made him do volunteer work because I wanted him to learn compassion and empathy. I think it might have backfired. He's a little too compassionate, I've decided. So compassionate that he would lie. He insists this wasn't lying and actually called it creative Story Telling. I know he did this because he has a good heart. Maybe I shouldn't punish him. But, he needs to know he can't do stuff like this and get away with it.

    This probably sounds kind of funny. Definitely not a serious offense.

    He brought home yet another cat from the animal shelter. He has volunteered there for years. The difference with this cat is that I didn't give written consent like I had for the other cats he decided to adopt. I wasn't there when all of this went down. Basically, he filled out the cat adoption application himself and lied that he was eighteen because he knew I wouldn't let him have a sixth cat! The lady who took his application was new so she didn't know he wasn't eighteen. My son is tall enough to be eighteen, but he doesn't look that old in his face. He is fourteen.

    He took the cat and walked home. He admitted to me that he lied because this is a geriatric cat who was about to be euthanized. We have this discussion quite frequently about how hard it is to work at a shelter and not be able to save all the animals. I should have never let him take in more than two cats.

    My son wants to be a veterinarian, so I don't want to forbid him from volunteering at the shelter. He's great about changing their litter boxes, etc. We've discussed the cost of food, litter, vet visits, deodorizers, etc. We also have three fish tanks, which his father encourages. And, they're both very good about cleaning the tanks also. Fish food is cheap, but the filters are adding up.

    I don't have the heart to send the cat back. None of this is the cat's fault.

    I expect the shelter director will fire him the next time he goes. She found out by now, surely.
     
  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    You have a very kind son. He is at an age when he is going to start trying to get away with things but this was motivated by such kindness that I, as a mother, would not have the heart do anything to him for saving this older cat. His intention was good.

    Maybe your son, much like me, should find a no kill rescue or shelter to work at. I had to quit volunteering at the humane society because so many animals were there for so long.....and this was a no kill shelter. It was sad though. I cried a lot there.

    To a true animal lover it is a real challenge to just watch them linger or die. I dont know if that I could ever get used to that. Your son may not be able to toughen.up.about animals either. Lots of people cant.

    You wanted him to be kind. He sounds like a real lover. A sweet and caring soul.

    I would look for a no kill rescue for him to volunteer at. Their adoption fees are higher. It would be harder for him to do this snd rescues take good care of their animals. Or find him another place for volunteering that is not so heartwrenching. Without animals.

    I would love to have had another child if he were like your son.
     
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    Last edited: Jan 22, 2019
  3. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    Ohhh. I like your son. Ok it was wrong to do. But if you are gonna be bad, be bad saving a life. I totally get it. 2 of mine volunteered at the humane society and we had rescue cats from those experiences. We still have one of those and 1 that was rescued from a porch 3/4 dead. I HATE going in Pet Smart and seeing the cats that are waiting for someone to adopt them. Sure I have little Miss (see avatar) but I would take them all. My hubby would die.
    You boys heart is soft. (as SWOT said) Better find a no kill shelter for him to volunteer.
    OR if there isn't a no kill near you, can he sigh up to be a save a pet volunteer? Take care of the momma cat and kits till they are ready for adoption.
    I bet that is one grateful cat that has a person to sleep with tonight.
     
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I know he meant well. But, the part about lying on the application about his age is concerning. Also, he deliberately waited until the new lady came so he could turn in the application. Everyone else at the shelter knows him and that he's only fourteen. The new lady didn't. That tells me he was crafty and sneaky, although not malicious. I know he was trying to do something good. I've told him time and time again that you cannot save every animal. It's sad, and I am a person who loves cats. But, now we have six. Our house is big enough, but I never imagined having this many cats. I also talked to my son about cat hoarding and and cat collecting. I intend to mention this to his therapist to make sure he's not getting those tendencies. I don't think he is.

    Yes, the cat is very lucky. We told our son that because of her age, she may not be around much longer. Her vet bills might be hefty. She doesn't have any known health problems yet, but she's geriatric. We warned him about getting overly attached to the cat.

    My husband says we shouldn't punish him because it wasn't a malicious lie. A lie, yes, but not one that was hurtful. He planned this and was crafty. The planning and premeditation are concerning. We told him no more animals. I also said no more fish tanks, and my husband actually said he wanted a fourth tank! I forgot to mention we have rabbits we have to bring in on cold nights! The rabbits were my idea, but that started when he was three. I didn't think he would want rabbits as he got older. Son said he understood and wouldn't bring home anymore animals. I said that goes for lizards, birds, etc. Just last week he was so excited because the City now allows people to keep chickens. I said stop. He kept talking about how I could have farm fresh eggs since I'm into organic and that type of food. We're. not. having. chickens.

    I just don't want him to become a chronic liar.
     
  5. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    Definitely not.
    And it did take some thinking to figure out how to get that cat outta there. I know what my hubby's answer would be..OK we will keep the old one, which one are you going to give way so it can stay? So if you can let this one stay. Tell him that if any other animals try to come live at your house one that is already there will have to leave.
    My hubby had a cut off of 2 cats .Period. Anytime the kids would mention another he would say, "OK which one is leaving?" Now I have 3. The 3rd he bought me for Mother's day. He calls her my "designer cat".
     
  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I think there are lies and LIES. I dont think this means he is heading toward being a chronic liar. He did if for the cat. He didnt fo it gor personal gain. Yes, intent matters.

    One thing you will have to learn yourself (we all do) is not as they get older what you tell him will not be taken as seriously as when he was younger. No matter what you say, he MAY get attached to every cat. Im that way with any animals. I was told the same thing. I knew it was sound advice. But I couldnt do it. Ever.

    He may be able to do it, maybe not. Maybe it will drive his career. But he also may agree that its better that he not volunteer at a kill shelter humane society. I cant. It depresses me. Makes me cry. I dont. I see the animal's sad eyes snd zi cant cant get past the sadness. I can work.ay their uratly garage sale but not near the animals. So O help that way plus donate.


    He may or may not learn.how to not attach to all of the cats. But it sadly isnt something you can teach. The heart is soft.

    The heart is not logical. Think of how much we love our kids
     
  7. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Oh what a sweet boy. White lie. I'm allergic to cats so I'd die if I walked in your house! Wonderful that he changes litter and cares for them.
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I can fully understand his lie and how crafty he was to get it through. That doesn't mean he doesn't need to feel the consequences of his actions. Why not make him get a job part time to pay for the extra expenses? If nothing else, he could go do a paper route or mow lawns and shovel sidewalks or whatever. It is a logical consequence for his actions.

    He pretended to be 18, and 18 year olds have expenses to cover. Let him see what he thinks of that. Especially if it cuts into some luxury item that he won't be able to pay for when he wants it.

    If he cannot figure out a job, cut some service that he uses (netflix, buying energy drinks or sodas, or whatever) to set that money aside for his cat's expenses. Sure, he probably cannot cover ALL of the expenses, but he will feel the pinch a bit.

    I personally would make him go and apologize to the person he conned and whomever else is in the shelter. Just another way of making him take responsibility.

    Is he maybe showing you he isn't responsible enough to handle volunteering at the shelter? That it hurts his heart too much? My oldest quit volunteering at a shelter because it hurt his heart to see all of the cats and dogs in jail. His words, not mine. Could your son have been looking for a way to get away from this pain without coming out and saying it?

    Our local animal shelter demands a parent be on the premises with anyone under 18 who volunteers there. They had this happen quite frequently until this rule was put into place. It really cut down on the number of animals who were returned because the parents never agreed to the adoption. If you look young (under 25), you have to show ID to adopt a cat for the same reason.