My husband has taken a long trip into the wilderness. Our 38 year old daughter has become paranoid over her dad being gone. I am wore out from her constant worry. The constant worry and stressing is about to drive me crazy. She calls me several times a day 'Have you heard from dad'. She is uncomfortable to be around since her moods are all over the place. Since the boyfriend moved out I am over there checking on things. There has been a leak in the attic and the ceiling in the garage is about to cave in. The floors are filthy. She is talented in art and has an art studio in her home and I noticed paint and crap all over the table. I had bought her that art table and was hoping she would take care of it. Since I was in her house and refuse to use a nasty bathroom, I scrubbed it out and saw mold growing everywhere. I went outside in the backyard and the boyfriend threw his tools all over the backyard, a crowbar laying right under the kitchen window, and junk everywhere... UGH I am just describing a little bit of the mess. I treated the mold, threw out tons of old rotting food etc. I bet I have thrown out over 3 tons of garbage. If my name was not on this house or I did not have respect for her neighbors I would let the place cave in on itself. My daughter yelled 'I am not a filthy pig' I then made matters worse by saying then stop living like one. Later she went swimming with me and started talking tacky, I just pipped in and said she sounded like a psychopath. She got quiet, went home, called me and said she wanted to make things right. We ended up going out to eat, the food was good, then shopped a little bit. My stomach is all knotted up with all the off and on. I do walk on eggshells. My husband and I talk about when one of us dies, and if I go first, he said he will not put up with her and leave town and not leave a forwarding address. Why do I subject myself to this? For the little crumbs of ok behavior peppered here and there? Is it worth it? Just to be clear, the dirty house is just one of the things, the lies, deceptive lifestyle and other things make the entire ball of wax. My love for her over shadows the nasty parts and I take up the crumbs like they are gold nuggets. How pathetic am I? She hurts/irritates/ my soul to the core and I settle for the crumbs. How long can I continue to do this?