I'm sure that most of us in PE know the daily fear that we go through even when we have successfully detached ourselves from our difficult children. For me, it's the local evening news. M had such a temper, and was so disrespectful of other people's things and lives. Usually the damage he did was to things, but sometimes it was to people, and he had an obsession with violence as power. Every time I hear "an unidentified white male, 20 - 30 years old..." my ears up to hear. Is he tall, thin, etc? I have been keeping tabs on M through his MySpace page. Nothing crazy, just checking once a week or two to see if he says anything about moving or changing jobs, etc. I feel that even if we don't have a relationship I should be able to contact him if something were to happen to husband or I, or to his grandparents. There has been a young man posting for a while there with the lovely moniker Always Down for a Beating. "I'm back, where's my homeys?" "Party at my place, booze, pot, whatever". I didn't bother mentioning it to husband. M's friends are his friends, and hopefully I'll never meet them... Still, the evening news gets to me. So, I checked yesterday to see that M still is where he was and is somewhat safe. Always Down for a Beating has changed his moniker to Always Down for a Knifing and changed his picture to him with a ten inch blade and a maniacal smile. He posts to M that he finally has those pictures back and M is "the one in the back looking all creepy." There's a picture of M and two other guys, with M brandishing a very shiny, very large, automatic gun. It looks posed, like a halloween picture. They're all dressed up in slacks and ties and shades kind of like Reservoir Dogs. We never approved of guns at our house, and he was always taught that if someone had one and wanted to show it off he should ask them to stop and leave if they wouldn't because the reality is in that situation that someone will do something careless or stupid and someone will be hurt eventually. I told husband. I had just made a speech the night before about having faith that M is just young and stupid and will grow out of his poor choices and come out of it unscathed and not being bothered about whether or not he comes back into our familial relationship. I'm so disappointed to say the least. Empty and sad and angry and helpless would all be apt descriptions, as well.