decision made :)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Dec 29, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Thanks for all the responses on my other link. Made my decision today after some sleep last night.

    My gut cant' let me leave her 7 hours away in another state at her age. Also was too difficult to come up with-funds. We would of had to ask husband's ex if she'd agree to remortgage the house that's half his. As i've shared she's a witch and I couldn't put difficult child's fait into her hands.

    So, we're going to oregon. Spoke to them this a.m., we just got triple A for truck, mapped out the trip somewhat, and bringing truck in to get looked at in an hr and leaving it overnight. It broke down on xmas eve coils popped again. He's going to give it a once over and let me know if it can handle the drive across country. if not we'll take a bus.

    Hope to leave in a week, gotta figure out what to do with-easy child and tie up a few loose ends here before we're gone for two months.

    somewhat relieved, somewhat nervous going to be a rough drive. Going to map out hotels along the way and break trip into 3 day drive.

    think that's the best decision. their guranteeing to get her eating and well. will be hard to leave easy child. yet gotta fix this once and for all.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jena, have you considered going by plane? Southwest does those $59 flights. It would be much quicker and you could get a rent a car through enterprise for the days you actually need them.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hey, can't she wont' last that long on plane. plus altitude and non eating, safer on ground for us. i can break at hotels, get her water, peanut butter to lick that's how she's surviving these days. i'm def. nervous yet i'm trying my best to look at it as a well i love her and it's a small price to pay for her to be well.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm glad that you came to a decision. Good luck driving to Oregon. I hope that they are able to help your daughter.

    Did you talk to easy child about going with difficult child to Oregon for two months? What was her reaction?

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds like Oregon is a good decision! Please drive safely!
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    oh man why does my life have all this drama in it? my ex found out and stated he will call cps on me if i make the drive with-her. i said wow i have sole custody, husband and i are banging out our credit card to even go, or rather his. you have no part in this and now your threatening me. i told him simply if my truck doesnt' get clearance we'll take amtrak. so now i was going to let her see him for a few hours on sunday and i'm nervous to incase he doesnt' bring her back to avoid the trip.

    he's called the hospital in oregon 3x already driving them nuts afraid he'll get a bill at the end of all of this. it's just insane.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I's cll cps first to make sure what you are planning is OK. Then if/when he calls (and I suspect it is a bluff, to avoid having to fork out money) then CPS will already be forewarned and the problem hopefully already resolved.

  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    thanks marg. what we did was called the hospital in oregon and told them i have sole custody and they are to no longer speak to him.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Amtrak might be fun for her. I worry about you driving all that way even on the bus. Bus is miserable. Jamie took the bus from MO to NC and it was horrible. They wont stop even if you have a problem and it is crowded as heck. A plane while crowded is at least only a short time. You could probably get a doctor to give you something to sedate her for most of the trip.

    Train you could probably get the sleep car. I think they still have those. They did last time I actually rode She could have privacy but also be able to get up and walk they do stop along the way and you can get out at the stations.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Good luck with everything! Don't worry about ex. If you have sole custody, you make the decisions, not him. I don't think it's a bad idea to call CPS either though. That way they can be expecting his call. You can even say, "I already talked to them." You can explain the situation. I'd ask for the supervisor instead of just anybody.
    Also, please don't lift your expectations to high. Hopefully, she will get better, but it will still be a long road and some pitfalls don't mean she has lost all she's gained. Here's sending you lots of loving wishes and prayers.
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    amtrak is super expensive shockingly. the plane for some reason janet with-o her eating and all really makes me edgy. on land at least i know i can get her help if i need to, in the air i can't i'm stuck. does that make sense? my though was i can go at my own pace on the road and if it takes 5 days than so be it. amtrak may work though. our other option is connecting flights and a layover. so if we flew to chicago that's short, than did a night at a hotel she could rest than another flight into oregon.

    husband and i wanted me to have a car while there, and we cant' rent one because his name is on the credit card we dont' have a joint one. this is all just working out the kinks. yet stupid narotic ex who i hate called the hospital so many times now their saying insurance may not cover all the charges i'm like who cares. i told ex dont' worry i'll make sure bills in my name. JERK.

    i was already planning on taking her to the hospital to get her a bag of fluids before we went so she's hydraed for the trip either way we chose to go.
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Jena, hope y'all have a safe trip regardless what travel arrangements you make. If you do drive and your route takes you my way, let me know. Good luck either way. I see a lot of planes are still having issues getting out in your area.
  13. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    FWIW, I flew to the East Coast from TX with B for a doctor's appointment when she was at her worst. We had to switch planes, our connection was cancelled, we had to scramble to the next plane going to a different airport where we did not have a car rented, and then drive for 4 hours. She spent the entire time with her head on my lap. It was still better than 4 days in a car, in my opinion. It was a long, hard day, but not 4 long days.

    I was worried that the trip would be too much for her, but we had to do it. It really never entered my mind to drive, though, so I don't know what I would have decided if I had thought that was an option.

    Good luck with the trip, whatever you decide and I hope they are able to help your daughter.
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Jena, you can ask for accommodations for her when you talk to the airline, they usually have packages of peanut butter available for the picky eaters, but it wouldn't hurt to make certain if you fly. She might consider flying a great adventure, or just be bored. Also it's a lot cheaper to fly after school is back in session. Like, half the price cheaper, according to a friend that's flying from OH to CA a week later because the difference is so drastic. A long layover (as opposed to buying multiple tickets) might be a better way to afford it, too.
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jena...all the people on planes these days are trained in medical emergencies so dont worry about that too much and if something bad really happened, they would land that sucker so quick it would make your head spin! Check out to see if there are flights from either newark or one other close by and then see if you can puddle jump if that is what you want to do.
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    amtrak is a long haul. one of the trains because they dont' have direct is a 45 hour ride. that's alot!! we'd have to switch trains 3x so far according to the schedule. i'm on the phone now with-jet blue to see if they have connecting ones so we can stay overnight in chicago maybe.

    so complicated lol sheesh. it is far husband is kicking up with-driving that way is too far alone and in your condition. i said i'm not worried about me it's her i'm worried about. he's like it'll be all pink and blue yet when you hit colorado and the open plains he said it's going to rough on you to drive that alone. investigating all my options tonight. me personally i love to drive that would be my first pick. yet a flight will get her there alot quicker, and as long as i hydrate her and bring seroquel to use as a prn and alert the airline of her condition it should be ok.
  17. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Make sure your medications are ALL in the pharmacy containers, etc. All the new regs can make things very difficult. Also pay attention to not just how many bags you have per person, but also weigh them and measure them, because oversized and/or over weight bags will tack on huge extra fees. Check the TSA site for all current regs on what you can/can't take in your carry-on bag (and check airline rules on the size of that, too!). I'd be scared to try driving those passes out west in good weather, in winter it would be a nightmare and all I can think of is the people whose GPS stranded them on snow-closed roads and that not all of them lived.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jena, at one time, I used to love to drive too but I wouldnt attempt to drive from NY to OR. Not with a sick child. Not with you yourself being in a somewhat unstable medical condition.

    That is a LONG distance. Tony and I drove from my home in NC to Houston TX one Dec to see one of my friends. It took us almost 22 hours of non-stop driving. It was grueling and we were driving a really comfortable Buick with the best cushy seats I have ever sat on. It was still hard on me. Yes it was cheaper to drive but it was so much longer.

    About the rental car. Check with Enterprise, I have been told that you can rent a car from them with your debit card. I havent tried it but that is what I have been told. If that is so, then make sure you have a debit card with a visa or mastercard logo on it with you. I would suggest you do this anyway so your husband can get you money while you are away.

    Good luck.
  19. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    I am worried at the thought of you driving. I have done the cross country drive and it is not fun even in the best of conditions. I am in Oregon now, the weather is crappy, snowstorms for the Rockies, you are driving a car that is not totally reliable, what if you get stranded in a snowstorm? I also fly alot and haven't had any problems with TSA etc as long as you don't carry liquids on (except small amounts). bring a water bottle with you and you can fill it once you are through security or buy one and keep your suitcases under 50 lbs. I would seriously seriously look at flying. maybe a night flight? who knows! As long as you have something PRN. I also wouldn't say anything to the airline about your daughter. Any Janet is right, they would land that sucker quickly if they need to. Plus there is oxygen on board. Ithink it would take you at least 4 days to drive, and even that is a stretch, and you have gas and hotel costs.

    I wouldn't worry too much not having a car in Portland. There is good rapid transit.
    Good luck whatever you decide.
  20. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    Also check the smaller airports (like Hartford, Manchester, Baltimore sometimes you can get better deals).