Helpless,
Your mind and heart is probably traveling all over the place with this new solution for your son. You have been through so much already, knowing what he is capable of,what has happened in the past, your two littles and 18 year old daughter. I have been in this place you are at now, too.
Well, sort of.
My two are older than your son, but when I realized they didn’t get any better in my home and brought a whole lot of craziness with them, I had to do something. That something was not allow them in my home. It was hard to live with them and hard to let go.
I was a mess.
The first thing you can do for you, is to slow way down. Your son is in rehab, so you do have some time to breathe and help yourself sort through this.
It is a grieving we go through when we realize that we do not have control over our kids choices. Take the time you need to feel what you feel, go to Al Anon or counseling. Find ways to strengthen yourself.
I wouldn’t worry now about talking with your son about living arrangements. Give it some time, for him and you.
When the time is right, tell him the truth. You have written it here. I told my daughter that she didn’t get any better at home. It wasn’t healthy for her or us.
It is not our kids we are rejecting, it is their choices. It is obvious that you love your son and want the best for him, but he has made life very difficult for you with his “dark side” drug use, and manipulation.
I am sorry for your heartache, this is very hard to deal with. Try to take one day at a time.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy