Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I don't know what it is called in all the States but I'm talking about the court procedure where the State takes custody of your child because they are out of control (not because you are bad parents).

    Has anyone gone through this process?????
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yes- my difficult child has a GAL involved who filed this in the courts- social services and myself kept it from going through. Our case was somewhat different, but it would have been a horrible thing for my difficult child, I think- at least at the time. We might end up there again, but I hope not. Anyway, it's my understanding that they take custody but the parent doesn't lose all parental rights - they do lose decision making. This is for Child in Need of Services (Not C H I N of Supervision) right?

    What is your situation, if you don't mind me asking?
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Haven't gone through but was darn close at one time. I didn't because my state would have taken complete custody of my daughter. It really varies from state to state how much parenting rights you lose.

    From what I found out, it did open up a wealth of services. There was a good chance, though, you'd never see your child again. So, I'd recommend checking how it works in your state/county.

    There's no question you need some serious help with K. If mental health won't help you, then you may have no option but to go the CHINS route. I'm so very sorry. I do know how hard it is to even consider doing this.

  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't know the procedure, but it is hard. Sending hugs and support,

  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    JJJ, I did a search for both PINS and CHINS here and got not much.

    However, the comment about the GAL struck a chord. I don't know if you're in Cook Co. but they are known, to my recollection, to have really superior GAL services. I'm wondering if that might also be an option?

    Still perusing DHS' website - may come up for air sometime next month. ;) Will also check family court website, if I can find one.

    Hang in there.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    There are a few things you can do (try at least) if they haven't been tried before, to get them to help you and difficult child without taking custody. Again, I'm not sure of your situation- PM me if you want. (Assuming I can figure out PM'ing now LOL!!)

    Sorry you are going through this- really- it is a tough battle either way-

  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Triple J,

    wm definitely has a CHINS (child in need of SPECIAL services) filed with our county; I'm pretty sure that kt has one as well - it was necessary to receive the level of services we receive here at home. Both of my children have a GAL - not because of husband & myself but to help mental health case manager & CADI manager guide services in place.

    Our GAL is very non- intrusive but caring. She's really on the ball especially with wm's needs & his impact on our family. She's well aware of the situation - the danger that wm has brought into our home.

    Her recommendation to the court each year is that we are a family working hard & that we should continue with the "family of different addresses". The working relationship between foster parents & husband & myself works well & co-parenting is what is necessary for wm AND for kt.

    Hope this answers a question or two for you.
  8. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    We have CINA (Child in Need of Assistance in my state) for both difficult children. My first response to anyone seeking it (if they ask my opinion and you asked our opinions) it has been awful. Weigh your options. I tell you this for your and Kangas benefit. We started on this path in 2003 with difficult child 1 and 2005 for difficult child 2. They tell us we have input. They just don't listen unless I start to make them crazy. In our state the first thing that happens is if it is out of home placement (and I know that is what is needed for you guys) they (DHS) gets custody. Then after a year (and yes with ours they have been out of the home longer than that) they take guardianship). Then after another amount of time they can TPR. They have not done that because they can't justify it. We are active in the care at their placements. Not that it has helped with difficult child 2.

    I don't know how folks with the GALs have gotten so lucky. Ours (for the kids) don't even show up to anything but court.

    Everyone here just does what dhs wants (and they so far haven't had our kids best interest at heart).

    Now obviously for some it works. I don't know what state you are in. Just check into all aspects and make sure you have a lawyer. That is imperitive if you need to fight some sort of decision that has been made that you don't agree with. Ours is court appointed as we applied for one.

    We didn't know of any other choice to get our kids help. I am very outspoken on this not to not do it but to be fully informed. Ask everyone you can in your area how it works.

    These are just my opinions because of how things have worked for us. Seek the information in your area and talk to an attorney.

  9. tdtt

    tdtt tdtt

    We once had a superior s.w. who had us file a CHINS in court on behalf of our sons- not for any other reason. The boys had a GAL ( whom none of us liked , but.....) we did get more services , until we absolutely had to say "we can't do this anymore for we have run out of services." The child was in 2 Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s & now in Foster Care. He is emailing & now ( almost apologizes) for calling me a "harda**" ( he said much worse) but the court did say "You do have your parental rights" We made the collosal decision to believe the judge & court.

    I think our rights would have remained intact , but our child needed to be away from us (totally ) to return to us? That make sense? He now does & emails us almost every day.
    He still has his issues & knows he will never again live wioth us permanently, but can visit on wk-ends & holidays. ( Birthday too)

    He is in touch with his 1/2 bro ( re adopted- parents sold a bill of goods) our son wants to believe in his older bro - I have a hard time as he almost killed me & did break my finger & it is disfigured for life. My youngest is the boy ( almost man) with the feelings & conscience.

    I agree- you NEEED an atty. If your income fits the criteria ( ours did ) you can get an atty for pro bono & we had a gem.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Thank you all. One of the people we have been working with says she has two very strong family law attorneys that she can recommend. She says the one may be willing to give us some initial advice for free and only charge us if we actually go to court.

    Kanga's therapist and the hospital sw have both stated that they are willing to testify in court that Kanga can not be brought home as she should not live in a home with younger children due to her homicidal impulses. The therapist is also willing to testify that we have taken advantage of all community services that they recommended and Kanga still needs more.

    If we get the grant, all is well as Kanga will go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If we don't get the grant, we are between a rock and a hard place as CPS has said that they would be very concerned if we brought her home due to the danger to the younger children.

    We know there is a risk that we may never 'get her back' but at this point we can't bring her home either without risking losing the others.

    We need better mental health care in this country!
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    JJJ, now I remember reading a previous post of yours that explains your situation a little more. (I guess I needed an avatar to jog my memory!)

    Anyway, it sounds like these are the steps you might be taking now (your Plan "A") but David had posted that he got his son in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) by getting a case manager involved and finding appropriate placement, then they helped get funding for it. I'm sure it was more complicated than I am making it sound here, but he did not lose custody. Are you comfortable that the sw involved is doing all he/she can to get K an appropriate placement without you losing parental rights? Is there a mental health attny or someone else you can talk to to see if there aare any other options? I think I would try calling a place I thought was appropriate and asking them what the best steps for getting K in there would be.

    I don't blame you for what you are doing- I'm just tryying to help think of ways that minimize problems for you in the long run-

    Keep us posted - I'm sorry you are having to struggle with such a difficult situation.