We have a situation with our 19 year old son that I just am not sure how to handle any longer. Last year he was arrested for a felony charge three days before he turned 18. His case is being handled through the juvenile courts. He was in detention for a month, then house arrest for another month, then on probation for nine months. His conditions are to obtain employment, go to college of some sort, pass drug testing, counseling & stay out of trouble. So far he hasn't been able to do any of these things except the counseling. He got a job last fall, but was fired within two weeks. We talk to him, lecture him, put him on house arrest again & nothing is working. He says he will & wants to do everything right, but he never follows through with anything. He lies constantly & steals from us. He is a good person, as far as he has a good heart, I just think something is seriously wrong with him.
Things have escalated very much & quickly within the past two weeks. He missed his appointment with his PO & now has a 7pm curfew. Ever since this was issued he has been coming in around 10pm, totally drunk. I think he is doing drugs, but either he's using pills or has found a way to test negative. He's hanging around the same people again (when he got in trouble originally) & says he can't just walk away, they may come after him. I don't know what's true & what's not. I am now living in fear that he will either end up dead or someone could even harm our family.
This probably seems like an easy answer, but this is going to be the hardest thing I've done. I'm thinking I need to turn him in to his PO tomorrow. I can't help him anymore. I don't know what else to do for him. We have helped him as a family & would do anything to help him, but he just doesn't seem to want it even though he acts like he does. I'm scared if they send him to jail he will get hurt (he's small), but then I know deep down that he is hurting himself & something will likely happen to him if I do nothing. I guess I'm just looking for any kind of advice or to communicate with someone who has been through something like this. This is horrible.
Things have escalated very much & quickly within the past two weeks. He missed his appointment with his PO & now has a 7pm curfew. Ever since this was issued he has been coming in around 10pm, totally drunk. I think he is doing drugs, but either he's using pills or has found a way to test negative. He's hanging around the same people again (when he got in trouble originally) & says he can't just walk away, they may come after him. I don't know what's true & what's not. I am now living in fear that he will either end up dead or someone could even harm our family.
This probably seems like an easy answer, but this is going to be the hardest thing I've done. I'm thinking I need to turn him in to his PO tomorrow. I can't help him anymore. I don't know what else to do for him. We have helped him as a family & would do anything to help him, but he just doesn't seem to want it even though he acts like he does. I'm scared if they send him to jail he will get hurt (he's small), but then I know deep down that he is hurting himself & something will likely happen to him if I do nothing. I guess I'm just looking for any kind of advice or to communicate with someone who has been through something like this. This is horrible.