gcvmom
Here we go again!
but the momma bear's been poked, and like Shari sez, if you poke the bear, the bear will bite.
I picked up difficult child 2 after marching band practice today and he was enraged and in tears. It takes a lot to work him up to that level, so I was really alarmed.
In a nutshell, there's a kid who's been bullying him, and today it was really hot at practice (yesterday it was 112, today it was 98 at his school) and this kid started in on him again, and his teacher wouldn't listen and simultaneously humiliated him in public. That's enough to make ANYBODY want to go postal.
So here's my letter:
I picked up difficult child 2 after marching band practice today and he was enraged and in tears. It takes a lot to work him up to that level, so I was really alarmed.
In a nutshell, there's a kid who's been bullying him, and today it was really hot at practice (yesterday it was 112, today it was 98 at his school) and this kid started in on him again, and his teacher wouldn't listen and simultaneously humiliated him in public. That's enough to make ANYBODY want to go postal.
So here's my letter:
I hope he understands from this that we are not playing games.Hello Mr. L,
Apparently difficult child 2 had a rough time during marching band practice today. He was very angry and frustrated to the point of tears when he got in the car this afternoon. I was alarmed because I know it takes a lot to drive him to that level of emotion. Ill share with you what he told me, and I hope you can offer your perspective on the situation as well.
First of all, difficult child 2 was very hot this afternoon and his face was flushed and covered in perspiration when he got in the car. He is more sensitive to heat than most people because medication he takes can impair his bodys ability to regulate temperature (see attached). He brought water to drink, but said didnt think he was allowed to take his water bottle out to the field so he said he left it in the room. He said he was not allowed to go back to the room to retrieve the water bottle. (This is his first year in performing band, and he did not attend the band summer camp, so I think there are little pieces of knowledge about protocol that hes missing.) So he was hot and thirsty: that was strike one.
Second, there is a student in band and another of difficult child 2's classes who has a history of bullying difficult child 2. The students name is E. Today during marching practice, E was coughing the words You SUCK! You SUCK! repeatedly to difficult child 2 and making boastful comments about his own musical ability. difficult child 2 said this was going on while you were asking him over the bullhorn to explain why he wasnt playing his instrument when the rest of the band was playing. difficult child 2 also told me that when he tried to tell you about Es comments he was told that he should stop tattling and start playing his instrument better. He told me that he was doing his very best just to hold his trumpet in position and cope with the sun and heat and Es bullying comments. He also said that you told him over the bullhorn that you were going to embarrass him until he answered you with an explanation for why he wasnt playing his instrument. So he was feeling bullied by E and humiliated and dismissed by you: those are strikes two and three.
Last year we tried to coach difficult child 2 so that he could deal with Es teasing on his own. He did his best to ignore a lot of the taunting that went on, but it appears that Es pattern of abusive behavior has continued into this school year. Mr. Gcvmom and I now want to see some intervention by the school to ensure that the bullying stops. difficult child 2 got so mad at E this afternoon that he shoved him. E responded by punching difficult child 2. This behavior between the boys cannot be allowed to continue to escalate. difficult child 2 sits behind E in one of his classes and if difficult child 2 so much as bumps Es desk or accidentally touches him, E turns around and hits difficult child 2.
difficult child 2 was ready to quit band altogether today, but he also really, really wants to do his best so that he can fully participate in your class. You have told me before that even if a student is not the greatest musician, they can still be a great participant, and I fully agree with this philosophy. I hope that moving forward we can all work together to make the learning environment as safe and free from distraction as possible for difficult child 2. Because of the serious nature of this situation, I am copying Mr. M [assistant principal] in hopes he can talk to the boys and lend his expertise as well; and since Mrs. C is difficult child 2's case manager, I feel obligated to keep her in the loop. Mr. Gcvmom and I are available to meet on Friday this week if that is convenient and you feel it necessary. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Gcvmom