difficult child found his own cure for encopresis

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wakeupcall, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Yep, he's figured it out. He's decided if he just doesn't eat, then he doesn't have to poop. He will eat no breakfast, only has a bottle of water at lunch, then eats a reasonable dinner because he has time to poop and get rid of it before morning when he does it all again. Can you believe it? How does one make a 14 year old difficult child eat, especially when he knows it makes him poop and he's embarrassed? This child is nearly impossible to raise.

    When you add this event along with his HORRIBLE ATTITUDE......I want to throw in the towel! This is the last three days of intermediate school. difficult child wants to walk home from school, so we've been letting him. He's an "outside" person to say the least, so even though it's three miles, we decided okay. Yesterday, it took him almost an hour and a half. Suuuuuure. SO today it was storming terribly and h decided to go pick him up when the bell rang so he didn't get struck by lightning. He didn't want to get into the car!!! He threw his backpack into the car and told h he was going to walk. Ok, well that turned into another fight. *Sigh*....this is soooo exhausting. difficult child never has a civil word to say to either h or myself......never.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} You need to let your psychiatrist know about this latest development if it goes on for more than a few days... he could quickly develop an eating disorder on top of everything else.

    And tomorrow... let him walk in the rain. :mad:
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Oh, and some extra hugs added too...

  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This is a really tough problem for him, both the encopresis and the new eating pattern. I have a friend who's ex always said that if they rubbed their son's face in it often enough it would stop, because NONE of HIS kids had any real problems (boy is textbook high functioning autism in addition to the encopresis). In spite of testing that shows problems with the nerve development on the boy, dad would not agree to any treatment. Mom got the judge to ban the face rubbing after dad bragged to the judge that he was going to "fix" the problem that way.

    Her son has eaten that way for many years. It has NOT helped him in any area of his life. There is little they can do to get him to change, esp since what he NEEDS is treatment (an operation) and dad will NOT permit it.
  5. MICHL

    MICHL New Member

    Wakeupcall: My difficult child (now 15) also has the encopresis problem (all his life). He doesnt' appear to even care about it when it happens, but he gets really mad when I try and talk to him about how to solve this issue, or call him on it, and then he denies it. We've been to many doctors. difficult child will not do the Miralax 3 x daily for the clean out, so now I am giving him 3-4 stool softener pills a day, and 1.5 caps of Miralax in applesauce (just ready if he chooses to eat it), this is all an effort to clean him out, so we can do a daily "maintenance". It's beyond frustrating. At this point i WISH he would stop eatting and help me fix him, but he eats so much, especially after school all the way up to bedtime. UNBELIEVABLE. difficult child is also extremely disrespectful to both me and husband. It's very stressful.
  6. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    I feel like the gluten free diet would help him, I really do. BUT if I do that at home, he would just blow the whole thing when I wasn't looking. If he's not committed to trying it....forget it. My difficult child doesn't think he smells, nor that his rooms smells, nor that his clothes have an odor I can't get rid of. He's figured out if he doesn't eat so much, he doesn't poop so much. Just in the last month it's a tad better, but I KNOW it's because he isn't eating. He, like your child, gorges food from the min. he gets home from school...all the way through the night. THEN he eats nothing till late the next day....only water. Disrespectful doesn;t even describe how horrible my difficult child is to his father and I. It would take very little for me to walk right out the door.....I'm so all done with all of it!!
  7. MICHL

    MICHL New Member

    Oh I know. It seems like they really are of the same cloth. I used to pay for school lunches and then he got upset at me for paying for them because he never ate them, and when I'd make him a sandwich, he would not eat that either. So now he just gets a popcorn and/or a Gogurt, and that is it until he gets home, and he more than makes up for it then. Have you tried the clean out (heavy miralax for about week) & maintenance (6mos-1 year or longer) ? I'm still trying to clean him out and i don't know if it's working. It's hard to do when he's not interested. About a month ago I really was going to give up and move out. I applied for a loan, was going to try & get a condo, was really excited, and somehow calmed down after realizing i really can't leave husband alone with difficult child because he's too much to handle, especially with the encopresis. I know other people have mentioned the Gluten free diet here, and I really can't see that working for my difficult child. I mentioned it to his dr. when he was younger, and I don't remember what she said, maybe because he did'nt have stomach discomfort or other symptoms that it wasn't recommended. There would be no way I could make him eat certain foods anyway, he doesn't listen to me. Also he loves Pizza way too much.
  8. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    We've tried everything all the doctors have suggested, with Miralax, stool softners, etc. The bottom line is that he won't get better till he works at it and for now, it's not important to him. For the most part, I've given up. I won't let him spend the night with anyone to prevent him from being embarrassed, and me too. I told him about a month ago, that if he doesn't get it stopped prior to his freshman year next year, that I will insist he wear adult diapers and I'll get him a medical release from PE. I just can't see him showering with the other guys....if they still do that. Everyone told me that when he had a girlfriend, he'd stop. But that's not working either....they just dump him and then he's sad and then we deal with the sadness. *Sigh*......I just wish it would all start getting better. I'm tired.
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2010
  9. MICHL

    MICHL New Member

    I know. We've done the Miralax, etc, over the years and it never stuck because he's not with the program. Let me know if something works, and I'll do the same.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I hear you!

    I feel like the gluten free diet would help him, I really do. BUT if I do that at home, he would just blow the whole thing when I wasn't looking. If he's not committed to trying it....forget it.

    Doesn't matter whether he adheres to it at school, etc. You can tell the teachers and cafeteria workers and have him separated from his peers. Or, just let him eat whatever he eats at school by trading. Do NOT give him lunch $. Meanwhile, what goes on in your house is your decision. You can still have a gluten free household and it will help.
    This is going to severely limit your ability to eat out, by the way. We used to bring our own pasta to our fave Italian restaurant. They kept it in the kitchen for us. They closed and now we have to find another spot to eat. Sushi is too expensive!

    My difficult child doesn't think he smells, nor that his rooms smells, nor that his clothes have an odor I can't get rid of.

    Again, it's your house and your rules. He's got to shower/bathe, and do his laundry. Does he have TV or computer privileges? Great bartering tools. "When you've finished your shower, you can watch TV." But ONLY when he's finished. (That's where splicing the TV cord makes a difference.)

    In reg to the odor, after his loads are done, I go through the rinse cycle again with-white vinegar. Then I go through the rinse cycle again with-fabric softener. Two extra rinse cycles but it really helps.

    Also, the odd odor could be an endocrine problem. Have you have him checked?
  11. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Terry, all we've done specialist-wise is take him to a gastroenterologist. They said classic encopresis and until HE was ready to make a change, nothing would help much.

    By the way, I thought if you "cheated" with the gluten diet that it would do no good whatsoever. I had no idea that if you did it some of the time it could help...even a little.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I can't speak for others, but in our case, I can tell immediately when difficult child has had wheat. His ears turn red, his cheeks break out with-eczema, and he is agitated.
    When he has had a LOT of wheat, he blows his top. He rages for hrs.

    In reg to digestive issues, if your son has Celiac disease, he cannot have ANY wheat. We had difficult child tested and he does not have it. I started to cook with-rice 5 nights a week, and the rice helped absorb extra water (it's recommended for dogs that are sick, too) and it really helped.

    Hope that helps.