OMG - my mom has been with me for 2 weeks and I love her. In fact, I wish she didn't have to leave because I worry about her all alone in her apt so far away. My sister lives nearby her, but my sister's a meanie and she's not nice to my mom so much and hardly ever visits her. This Saturday we're having a party for mom's 85th birthday and some family is coming up and over to spend the day - it should be nice. Okay, so I said the nice stuff...lol. My mother gets in her own way. She's incredibly overweight and doesn't move, she eats all the wrong stuff and I have to hide food and things from her. She messes all over herself and my house. I have cleaned the bathroom (completely bleached it down from top to bottom), no lie, at least 6-7 times in 2 weeks since she arrived. I finally got her to agree to wear the diaper pants. I was so upset at having to have that conversation - I don't want to take away her dignity and I know she's embarrassed and it's horrifying for her (and me) to admit that it's time. I really doubt her ability to live on her own anymore, and yet, there is little I can do at this time because none of my siblings are on the same page. Even if she lived with me I wouldn't be able to take care of this 24/7/365. I just wouldn't. It's too much. And she's not getting any smaller, so what if she became disabled or incapacitated? If I am there, she expects to be waited on hand and foot. She will hold out a cup and say simply" "Water". I notice when I'm not there she eats and fends for herself just fine, but if I'm there, she expects that I will wait on her. Get her food, drinks, socks, etc. She won't say, "Can you please get me some slippers or a blanket?" Instead, she will hug herself, shiver loudly and say, "oh my, I'm so cold...are you cold?" Ugh. I work full time and on the weekends I am running myself ragged trying to get everything organized for the week ahead. I love having her and knowing she's better here, but my God, it's a lot of work. My hands are raw from cleaning and laundry!! More than ever!! I'm actually tired and this weekend I hardly sat and relaxed once. Right now my goal is to throw her the best darned 85th birthday party ever and send her off happy. I feel like I've traded in one difficult child for another.