difficult child grandma strikes again...

[tracy551]

You know this is crazy. Yesterday I got a call from difficult child's counselor at the ranch, he said my mom called "him" to ask about difficult child. He gave her only limited info because of privacy and all. (GOOD) I talked with him a bit, and told him she needs to contact me and I in no way want to put him in the middle of this with my mother he is there to help difficult child not to apease my mother. He said if he talks with her again he will tell her she needs to contact me with any updates and questions.
Then after talking to him he allowed me to talk with difficult child for a few minutes. He said he got a letter from his grandma. He sounded totally depressed. I could tell the difference just after getting one letter from her. He was doing well before. It only takes one letter to bring him down. Why does she do this to him???? :grrr:
difficult child stated I should talk to her and tell her "HE" is the one who got him there and she should not be mad at me. That she should try to see that. I told him if she calls I will talk to her but I will not call her. He understands but wants to know why she is doing this. I can't explain it :confused:
I feel bad about difficult child being so depressed with her but I can not back down to her either. She makes me so angry that she would try to put him in the middle when he has enough to work on all ready. If she can't support just LET HIM BE!!!!! :grrr:
Well have a good day all just had to vent before work

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Ah jeeze. I wonder if they could filter his mail?

Hugs to both of you.

 

[Marguerite]

Could you ask him to show the letter to his camp counsellor? If getting a letter from grandma causes this sort of distress, I think they need to know about it.

Marg

 

[JJJ]

Can't you block him from getting mail?? Geez, she just doesn't get it, does she?

 

[Sunlight]

maybe he could write gramma his own letter accepting responsibility, telling her he know she loves him but this is something he needs and wants to do.

 

[tracy551]

Thanks all. I've already thought of seeing if they could block his mail or possibly he and his counselor could read them together that way if she says things "OUT OF THE WAY" he could talk about it right then. I will be talking with difficult child tomorrow or over the weekend I'm going to ask him if he has or plans to write her back. I truely believe even if he writes her back, taking responsibility, she will say some one put him up to it. I really think she wants him to be miserible.
That's just not right. He was so excited about taking his horse out today. (the counselor told me) He got to take her on some new trails. It's wierd but he knew he may go to this ranch and said "I don't want to go around any stupid horses" Now all he does is brag her up and even has told me we could get a horse "really cheap" (WE LIVE IN TOWN) not quite enough room. Apparently he takes real good care of her.
I'm proud of him, so far so good.

 

[timer lady]

Tracy,

When both kt & wm were in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), we had to fill out a list of "accepted" visitors, calls & letters. If the visitor wasn't on the list they were not allowed in the facility.

Please check to see if difficult children facility has this in place. It may help the situation. You will have to deal with mom - oh well. You can do it better than difficult child. Your mother needs to know her place in this situation.