difficult child is "amped"...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by trinityroyal, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    ...and I am honing my detachment skills.

    It's been a whirlwind of a weekend. We just got back from dropping difficult child off at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/Assisted living, and taking Step-D and her boyfriend back to their place, which is just down the street from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Whew!

    I really feel for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff tonight. I have no doubt that difficult child is currently crawling up the walls and along the ceiling. They're going to have a fun time talking him down (NOT!). But I don't have to deal with it, neener neener neener.

    Thursday: difficult child had minor surgery to remove a suspicious looking mole form his back. husband took him to the hospital, and after 45 min. of screaming, crying, fussing and panic, husband finally got him in an arm lock and held him still so the doctor could do his thing. Better him than me. Once the surgery was done, difficult child behaved pretty well for the rest of the day.

    Friday: difficult child and husband went to check out the new location for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They are moving sites in the middle of the week, and difficult child wanted to see the place. Again, husband reports that difficult child maintained very well. I would have expected total mania, but he was "calm, cool and collected"

    Saturday: My 40th birthday party at a nearby party place. difficult child came with his 1:1 staff from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He maintained so well all day, and then all evening. At about 9:30 pm he asked me if it would be okay for him and his staff to go back to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because he was feeling a bit tired. Again, I was totally astonished at how well difficult child was maintaining. Not to mention, very impressed at his maturity in asking to go home early rather than staying through the crankiness and meltdown, which is his usual M.O.

    Sunday (tonight): Thanksgiving. We all trooped over to my mother in law's house for the afternoon, for the giant turkey dinner. From the moment difficult child got in the car I suspected that his ability to maintain was getting frayed. He was getting more and more elevated throughout the evening, until by the time we were ready to go home he was standing in my mother in law's driveway hopping up and down and yelling, arguing with everyone in sight and generally spouting off.

    Usually by this point I would be yelling and screaming right along with him. Tonight, I just said, "difficult child. I've said it before but it's important. If you said the kind of things to a stranger that you've just been saying to your sister, he would give you the beating of your life. You're being aggressive and grandiose, and you can't back up your words with actions so you'd best stop now."
    And miracle of miracles, he stopped.

    I suspect his nighttime medications were starting to kick in at that point, but it didn't turn into the usual World War 3!

    Baby steps, but progress nonetheless. 2 big family parties in a row, and I didn't feel like tying difficult child to the roof rack after either one. All in all, a good weekend.

    Happy Thanksgiving for any fellow Canucks out there!

  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    So glad you made it through all of that activity. Sounds like some major improvement is going on. Glad you are taking what you could get while you could get it. Many hugs.


    ps and I missed my invite to the party...sniff...happy b-day (a bit late)
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Happy Thanksgiving Trinity! :D

    I've found this far more effective than losing my cool with my difficult children. You didn't feed the mania by getting upset and yelling yourself. Or give him attention by making things esculate. You simply stated the facts, calmly.

    Way to go. :D

    Most likely it had been building all along, and he'd just reaching the breaking point on maintaining control. Sounds like it had been an eventful few days.

  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Lisa, this is the lesson I've been trying to learn for years and years. I don't always manage to sit on my lips, but golly! Tonight was a really good reminder of why it's important. I hope that the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff have been able to get difficult child's PRN into him so that they can ALL get some sleep. I'll get the daily report tomorrow morning. For now, I don't want to know...
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sounds like you all had a very busy few days. The doctor visit and surgery to remove the mole had to be scary. Glad husband was able toget him into an armlock. I hope the mole was benign.

    Happy Birthday !!!!!

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!

    Your difficult child really has had a very busy/stressful few days, I think his behavior was pretty great. Not that standing outside yelling stuff is great, but that it onlyhappened after several very eventful days/ I think you handled him marvelously!!!
  7. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Hey, Happy Thanksgiving from one Canuck (expatriate) to another! And Happy Birthday! And kudos to you for staying calm and getting through to difficult child!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you really had a big busy weekend! So glad difficult child chose to listen to you.

    Happy Birthday...and Happy Thanksgiving! Hey...my birthday and Thanksgiving are really close together, too!
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the birthday and Thanksgiving wishes.

    Got the daily report from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Apparently difficult child was loaded for bear all day today. He's been mouthy and obnoxious, and when the Team Lead came to rein him in, he let her have it with both barrels. So...he's been in isolation for the rest of the day, and might need to stay put tomorrow if he doesn't calm down.

    Still, baby steps. In previous years he would have been uncontrollable after the surgery, running around like a nut at the birthday party, and sobbing under the table at Thanksgiving dinner. All in all I'm very proud of him. He's being dragged kicking and screaming through his therapy at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but something they're doing is obviously working for him.

  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Trinity.........ooops. Sorry I missed the birthday.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :D :D :D I hope you had a good one.
  11. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks Lisa, it was!
    husband organized a party for me at a local restaurant/club and I danced like a fool until about 2:00 am when they closed the place. The DJ even played my whole list of 35 requests!