Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ML, Mar 3, 2009.
Oh ML....I am having some issues with my older son. He has been in and out for several years. Due to loss of jobs and financial situations 6 years ago he had to quit college and move home. He was a good kid. Never a problem. Had a good job about an hour away for about a year. Had to travel a lot. Then, car broke down, girlfriend dumped him and he moved home.
He has worked as a bartender at a dumpy corner bar with local drunks. (other side of town). He likes the Party lifestyle and spent every dime he made.
He too would get SO angry if I touched his room. But it SMELLS. And MY house.
He has always been a big support for difficult child until recently.
The bar he worked at didn't pay him for two weeks, then shut down without notice. I have been paying his loan payment and cell phone bill since October. things got tough then and I thought I would be nice to help him through the holidays.
Now he is angry all the time, No job, No car, no money and just informed me he is moving home again. He is also 26. Instead of appreciating what I have done (we also gave him two cars ..old ones but they ran. No longer run, in junk yard)
He threw things in my direction and said some really hurtful nasty things yesterday. not just said...SCREAMED. Because I told him to get a job, any job I can't afford to pay his bills. And that coming in at 2 or 3 or 4am and getting up at 3pm isn't going to get him a job. I offered him my car or husband's car if he drove us to work. He said such mean and nasty things and threw a chair across the room, then left.
Can I send my son out by your step son...both 26, maybe they can live together !!! LOL.
We never had to enforce rules with him before. He was always a good kid. I am scared too.
((HUGS)) I can't offer any advice on this one but wanted you to know that you have my support. Maybe talking to husband well ahead of time would help??
Can only wish you good luck and you need to set up some ground rules BEFORE he hits the front door.
Eldest moved back in about two years ago for a year with two kids in tow- it wasn't a time I remember fondly. I constantly send out good juju on her behalf she doesn't lose her job because she is so not moving back in with THREE kids in tow.
The two boys still live at home but now its more like they are room mates since they are older. They don't make a mess other than dirty dishes and stay in their rooms when they are here. Oldest just comes and goes as he pleases - we rarely see him as he works and goes to school. difficult child rarely goes out that often and we seem to have a slight problem with difficult child as if I am out, he will call every 15 minutes in a panic with where are you, what are you doing, when are you comming home, are you done shopping yet, where are you now Every.15.freaking.minutes or so LOL
This boomering back home is going to happen a lot now with the economy as bad as it is.
Thanks everyone. I really needed feedback on this. I appreciate it.
Okay - now I am really messed up -
I read things sometimes and then take a day or two to process the post and I had everything I thought I wanted to say in my head to type, and came back and NO post...lol
Ugh - Sorry sometimes things take me a while to process. But bottom line here was best wishes and sending you strength and hope that it's different this time.
Actually I was feeling very guilty. I want to approach this with a new attitude. I spoke my mind in a nice way which was a huge step for me. This might sound silly but I don't want my stepson to not like me so part of the reason I kept silent last time was because of my issue on being afraid to be the wicked stepmom. I have a bad habit of being too nice. I'm working on it lol.
Also, I was worried my stepson might log onto my computer and find the post. I know that's unlikely but I've forgotten to log off before and found the site up!
So I didn't mean to worry anyone. I didn't think anyone would notice.
All I have to say is This Too Shall Pass! I am hoping it for me too. Nothing stays the same forever. We can all hope for "greener pastures".
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