difficult child tried to apolgize to easy child to get her to not move out

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And easy child told her that sometimes sorry doesn't fix things, and that she couldn't stay here. That difficult child's behavior was affecting her too. (difficult child tried to tell her that it was btwn husband me and difficult child) easy child told difficult child that she kept her up all night too, and that she had 2 tests the next day. zgfg asked if she was going to come home, and easy child told her she didn't know that she might come back when things settle down. Then easy child hugged difficult child and left. difficult child actually cried about it. And, when it was dinner time and easy child wasn't at the table with us, I sat there sobbing. I am hoping that difficult child is starting to see that her behaviors have consequences. It isn't likely, but I can dream.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Give it all time to sink in. If difficult child hasn't cared about anyone else's feelings before, it might take awhile. Let her know how it affects YOU so she maybe gets the whole picture. I hope difficult child doesn't eventually come to like it without easy child there. Will be thinking of you.
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I am making it very clear to difficult child how I feel about it. When we sat down to eat dinner, I looked over to her sister's seat, and just started sobbing. difficult child asked if I thought easy child would come home this weekend. And, I told her I didn't think so. I think not having her around this weekend will be a huge wake up for her. easy child is not coming home until the 20th. If things are still not going well, she is staying longer. And, I don't plan on being overly loving to difficult child. Just not feeling it. I haven't even spoken much to her.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you. This is probably the best way to teach a lesson in selfishness without making it worse for easy child. She needs to learn that her actions affect more than just her and the person she's aiming them at. I just hope that the lesson sinks in and stays there and doesn't go out the window after easy child does come home. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Maybe this speaks to her having some real impulse control issues? Seems like when she does finally let things sink in she feels it, she may be defensive and cover it up most of the time too. I dont think she seems like a kid who really does not care. She is just really really self absorbed right now. I think you are right, this is a great learning opportunity. Hope the lesson isn't ... wow, I have a lot of power. Doesn't seem like it though if she is asking when she will come back.
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Good for easy child!!! I hope your difficult child gets it but ... be prepared that she doesn't. (((HUGS))) for your mommy heart.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sigh. Sad, but certainly a teaching tool.
    However, I would give difficult child something concrete to work on, so her depression doesn't spiral out of control. Just "behaving" and "not exploding" are not enough. It's got to be specific.
    I am glad that she knows that easy child is moving out because of her, and they were able to give each other hugs.
    My son wasn't able to express that when my easy child moved out. He definitely missed her, though.
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Terry, I went to see easy child last night, and she said that she is going to try coming home this weekend and see how it goes. If things go OK, then she said that she will stay. If not, then she is going to go back to my friends house. difficult child knows that she needs to not be disruptive at night and that if she cannot do something other than that easy child will not stay. We went out last night and got her more paint by numbers. She really likes to do those, and it takes alot of concentration so she has to focus. We told her if she feels like she is going to be really frustrated or upset to just sit and paint. Hopefully that and the Abilify will help.