JJJ
Active Member
I just read in our local paper that my little difficult child's half-brother (20 yrs old, same birthmother different fathers) was shot and killed in an alley. We adopted difficult child as an infant through foster care so he hasn't seen this half-brother since he was 5-6 months old. Half-brother was raised by a maternal aunt with birthmom's involvement.
My heart breaks for his birthmom who lost 4 children to foster-adoptions due to her drug use. She was able to stay involved in this child's life because her sister was attached to the boy and kept him. Now she has lost even him. Birthmom is very smart but the combination of her own difficult child-ness (bipolar, probable Borderline (BPD)), drug abuse and a poor upbringing (her mom is Borderline (BPD)/antisocial pd) had led to such a sad life. I know she had choices -- especially the drug use -- but I still feel sorry for her.
The half-brother was a major difficult child (the caseworkers got the judge to ban him from sibling visits when the others were in foster care because he would become highly inappropriate/violent). It was an alley fight that got out of control and a 15 year old pulled a gun and shot him. Course, everyone else left when the gun was pulled out and difficult child-half-brother kept running his mouth!
I pray that the interventions we are providing our difficult child will mean that he will celebrate his 21st birthday as a functioning adult and not in a morgue.
Just very sad today,
My heart breaks for his birthmom who lost 4 children to foster-adoptions due to her drug use. She was able to stay involved in this child's life because her sister was attached to the boy and kept him. Now she has lost even him. Birthmom is very smart but the combination of her own difficult child-ness (bipolar, probable Borderline (BPD)), drug abuse and a poor upbringing (her mom is Borderline (BPD)/antisocial pd) had led to such a sad life. I know she had choices -- especially the drug use -- but I still feel sorry for her.
The half-brother was a major difficult child (the caseworkers got the judge to ban him from sibling visits when the others were in foster care because he would become highly inappropriate/violent). It was an alley fight that got out of control and a 15 year old pulled a gun and shot him. Course, everyone else left when the gun was pulled out and difficult child-half-brother kept running his mouth!
I pray that the interventions we are providing our difficult child will mean that he will celebrate his 21st birthday as a functioning adult and not in a morgue.
Just very sad today,