DDD
Well-Known Member
After he and GFGmom decided that he should move into the apartment with his older female "friend" January lst, after taking dishes/crockpot/extra sheets etc. from my house to the apartrment etc. etc. and importantly agreeing to work with husband on managing his finances...it's off. Long story, as always, but that's the bottom line.
Now I am very, very close to detaching from him as I finally did with GFGmom. I could whine, cry, rant and rave but I am close to accepting that in less than 18 months he has become his Mother's boy. It is so hard to accept that after many years of living with us that he really is a chip off her block. He finished his Jr. year with a 3 pt.+ GPA and was exploring schools for his future, exploring job opportunities and eager to build up his savings, kept his room and himself clean and orderly etc. After moving in with her he barely graduated from high school, no longer had regular therapy, and most importantly was (and is) allowed to go most anywhere he wanted at any time...with no communication. He sees this as freedom and "doesn't want to be controlled" (his GFGmom's favorite word for us and our lifestyle).
With GFGmom's help, for example, he opened a checking account and has no idea how they work so he had three bounced checks this month. He paid $800 for a laptop at a "rent to own" place, accidentally broke the screen and doesn't see why he has to pay them. It's ugly. Last week he told the woman at Voc/Rehab "I really don't want a job. I get disability and food stamps." OMG! That is NOT the way our family thinks. That IS how GFGmom thinks. I think he is now...her son.
Thanks to you all for the decorating tips etc. that helped me try to get him proudly off on his first step to independence. It didn't work. DDD
Now I am very, very close to detaching from him as I finally did with GFGmom. I could whine, cry, rant and rave but I am close to accepting that in less than 18 months he has become his Mother's boy. It is so hard to accept that after many years of living with us that he really is a chip off her block. He finished his Jr. year with a 3 pt.+ GPA and was exploring schools for his future, exploring job opportunities and eager to build up his savings, kept his room and himself clean and orderly etc. After moving in with her he barely graduated from high school, no longer had regular therapy, and most importantly was (and is) allowed to go most anywhere he wanted at any time...with no communication. He sees this as freedom and "doesn't want to be controlled" (his GFGmom's favorite word for us and our lifestyle).
With GFGmom's help, for example, he opened a checking account and has no idea how they work so he had three bounced checks this month. He paid $800 for a laptop at a "rent to own" place, accidentally broke the screen and doesn't see why he has to pay them. It's ugly. Last week he told the woman at Voc/Rehab "I really don't want a job. I get disability and food stamps." OMG! That is NOT the way our family thinks. That IS how GFGmom thinks. I think he is now...her son.
Thanks to you all for the decorating tips etc. that helped me try to get him proudly off on his first step to independence. It didn't work. DDD