horserider
New Member
It has been a very busy month, new job, school finals, I wanted to jump on and share some good news. After 4 months our difficult child finally earned his first day pass home 2 weeks ago. I have been cautiously excited, if you know what I mean. I do not live at home, but have spent the day passes with my difficult child and husband and they went pretty well. I think my difficult child behaved better then my husband, but that's another story. Geez...
It has been a long road but our difficult child seems to finally be internalizing issues and problem solving. His passes are very restrictive and he did ask me if he could go on-line (he will have one hour of "free" time in a few more weeks to talk on the phone or go on-line during his pass) which he knew was against the rules now. I calmy told him no, he asked two more times saying the rules are stupid and went to his room. Awhile later he became verbally upset that his pass was too short, I waited for the door to slam or things to escalate but they didn't. I was relieved and he remained in control. I was about in tears when we went to dinner and he put his arm around my shoulder and we just sat and talked like that for some time, gave me a bear hug when he had to go back in, that's when I lost it. He handled the transition back better then I did.
Yes he has realized things have changed, mom still has unconditional love, but mom also has something new about her. I did not tell him it was my rhino skin I found here. He will test the waters, but I will remain a firm and loving mom who does not bend the rules. Soon his pass will be for overnight stays, I hope my husband and him can get along okay. I am not ready to move home, don't know if or when I will yet. This is becoming an issue with my difficult child I'll have to ask you guys some advice about at a later time.
One step at a time. I pray he stays on the right path, if so 3 more months in the program. His casemanger said the last 6 weeks of this program parents usually see a different child then when he went into the jjc. They can loose 6 weeks minimum or go back to square one if they break rules or esp. break the law again while on pass. It feels good to have progress finally. difficult child's also doing awesome in school, nothing lower then 80% and lost 20 pounds playing bball and not snacking like at home.
Thanks for the continued support and listening
Happy Holidays!
It has been a long road but our difficult child seems to finally be internalizing issues and problem solving. His passes are very restrictive and he did ask me if he could go on-line (he will have one hour of "free" time in a few more weeks to talk on the phone or go on-line during his pass) which he knew was against the rules now. I calmy told him no, he asked two more times saying the rules are stupid and went to his room. Awhile later he became verbally upset that his pass was too short, I waited for the door to slam or things to escalate but they didn't. I was relieved and he remained in control. I was about in tears when we went to dinner and he put his arm around my shoulder and we just sat and talked like that for some time, gave me a bear hug when he had to go back in, that's when I lost it. He handled the transition back better then I did.
Yes he has realized things have changed, mom still has unconditional love, but mom also has something new about her. I did not tell him it was my rhino skin I found here. He will test the waters, but I will remain a firm and loving mom who does not bend the rules. Soon his pass will be for overnight stays, I hope my husband and him can get along okay. I am not ready to move home, don't know if or when I will yet. This is becoming an issue with my difficult child I'll have to ask you guys some advice about at a later time.
One step at a time. I pray he stays on the right path, if so 3 more months in the program. His casemanger said the last 6 weeks of this program parents usually see a different child then when he went into the jjc. They can loose 6 weeks minimum or go back to square one if they break rules or esp. break the law again while on pass. It feels good to have progress finally. difficult child's also doing awesome in school, nothing lower then 80% and lost 20 pounds playing bball and not snacking like at home.
Thanks for the continued support and listening
Happy Holidays!