difficult child saw his therapist yesterday, he will see psychiatrist on Thursday. He has not been doing well. When I picked him up from school he was very confrontational, yelling at me about why he had to have so many appts, what were the for, he never got to go to his friends. I just calmly replied and went to my happy place. By the time we got to therapist's office he had worked himself up to almost tears. He was yelling at me that he hated me and other loving terms (no swear words) as we walked through the parking lot. He sat very far away from me and glared at me the whole time, would not speak to me (I was grateful for this by now). The child I picked up from the appointment was not the same that I left. He was pleasant, loving, kind and did not argue too much when I reminded him he was still grounded from his ds from his fight Monday. I could not believe it. Lasted all night. I emailed therapist and thanked her---I was amazed. She emailed back and said that it was clear he was hurting inside but it is nearly impossible to get him to talk about it. they are working on mindfullness, and how to be aware of your body as a way to be aware of your feelings. she thinks he has shut himself off from some of his emotions as a coping mechanism. It makes me so sad that he has done this. It hits me really hard, and I have been warding off tears on and off. I guess I feel partially at fault, responsible or something? I just want my little boy to be emotionally, mentally and physically healthy, and he is clearly only doing well on 1 out of three. I just needed to get this off my chest, thanks for listening.