Does it come in 3's..any canadians here?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Jan 1, 2010.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I went to work New Years Eve and found out that my boss's brother passed away. They found him that night. I guess he had been dead for about a week.

    I went into work today, new years day, and a co-workers father passed away at 4am. He came to work.

    My husband called at about 3pm. A hospital in canada called to inform my husband his brother went into cardiac arrest about noon. He was in ICU and was not doing well. My husband talked to several doctors. Apparently his brother was at a friends house. His friend tried to wake him today and couldn't. He began CPR and had him brought to the hospital. At 7pm the second call came. His brother passed away. His blood pressure was low, his blood sugar was low and low hemoglobin.

    Dr. said they will do an autopsy because they do not know what put him in cardiac arrest.

    My husband is his only relative. What do we do? We don'thave the money to send my husband there. We don't have the money to pay for a funeral. His brother was not working, he was on disability.

    What do we do now? What will happen to his body if my husband doesn't make arrangements. No girlfriend. Only ever spoke of this one friend that he was with. He didn't live near him, went to visit for New Years.

    My husband doesn't have a passport. He doesn't even have his birth certificate. He was born in Pittsburgh which is quite a ways from Wisconsin. What happens to him. How do you even go about setting something up from one country to another. And what happens when you don't have money?

    He lived in Ottawa, not sure if his friend lived there or not or even what hospital. We have the hospital number.

    Can anyone direct us in any direction on what to do?
  2. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I have to work tomorrow so I must get off to bed. Just wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do. Only relative. Another country. Cant just leave him there.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oh kjs I'm so very sorry. Your husband is in my prayers.

    The hospital might have a social worker type person at the hospital who may be able to find the answers to your questions or at least direct you to people who can.

    Birth certificate for husband is not a problem except for time. You can do it online, but I'm not sure how fast they can get it to you. I've done it for K a couple of times (she was born in Alabama) and it took about 10 days each time. There is also like a 10 dollar fee.

  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    If you pay for expedited processing and shipping, you can get a duplicate birth certificate in a few days. I paid 25 dollars for mine. I was born in IL.

    With the funeral expenses issue--does your religion allow for cremation? If so, contact the Cremation Society for your state. The actual cost of cremation for my husband was 1100 dollars back in '02.

    You do not need to shell out for a casket, vault, clothing, etc. If your husband or family want to keep the ashes, you can get an urn starting at around fifty dollars.

    If not, the ashes will be returned in a heavy cardboard box. You can scatter them if/when you please.

    Also, some airlines offer deep discounts for those travelling to deal with the death of an immediate relative.

    ToK (my condolences go out to your husband)
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry, kjs, and my sympathies to your husband. I'd call the Red Cross and see if they can help (or point to help) for transportation to Canada. Another option is for the body to be transported to where you are and buried in your locality. The Salvation Army might be able to point to some help for burial or cremation cost. Also, some localities have funds for burying the indigent.
  6. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Hi there, a Canadian chiming in here. Since he was on disability, he was on social assistance. Given that fact, a basic funeral/burial is paid for by the city and/or province. My grandmother and my aunt both passed away here in Ontario while on disability. It requires paperwork sure, but it truly isn't a ton of paperwork. It might be a bit of a pain since nobody is here in the family to look for papers (birth certificates etc). However, part of being on disability here is that that the disability office will have his certificate on file. That should help.
    My suggestion to get the ball rolling is to contact the Ottawa Ontario Works office. I can google it and post it here shortly. Ontario Works is our version of welfare in Ontario. Even though disability is a different program, Ontario Works is the agency that pays funeral expenses for those on disability. THe disability office will need to be contacted as well. Disability here in Ontario is called Ontario Disability Support Program (or ODSP). I will try to find the local number for them as well. He will have a assigned worker at ODSP. If you choose to start with his ODSP worker, they should be able to helpfully guide you through the process. You can also ask them for a local funeral home that others on assistance may use. They too will know all that you need to do to get the payment issued for the services provided, funeral homes here are very much in the know about what is covered and not covered for those on social assistance.

    I do not happen to know if cremation is paid for. I do know that a basic casket, service and burial is covered. Even if the paperwork is held up waiting for documents etc, the service will go ahead simply by virtue of the fact that he is on disability and the funeral director will know that the money will be coming. So no need to worry about things not moving forward if it takes time to get paperwork together.

    I hope that helps. And please accept my condolences on your families loss. (((hugs)))
  7. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Okay, the Ontario Works office phone number is:

    This is one of four offices apparently for the City of Ottawa. The city is divided to 4 offices based on location. However, it is all computerized and if this is the wrong local office, the staff will be able to direct you to the office that will serve you.

    The number for disability is:

    This is the ODSP office, might also go by the name of Ministry of Community and Social Services, which is the provincial government program under which the disability program is run. There is only one Ottawa phone number, meaning I assume there is only the one office. His worker would work from that number.

    I truly hope that helps a little bit to get you all started. If I can be of any more help, please feel free to PM me.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm so sorry for your loss...

  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Thank you SO much. It is hard to lose your last family member, but so unexpectedly and suddenly with no explanation is tough. Not to mention we are in another country.

    What the friend did tell us is that he came over to spend New Years eve. They weren't drinking. In the morning his friend tried to wake him and he said he was too tired. Very lethargic. He tried to talk to him but he began fading in and out of consciousness. He then called for an ambulance.
    According to the doctor they began CPR on the way to the hospital. What the doctor found was very low blood sugar, very low blood pressure and very low hemoglobin levels.
    His friend said that he(brother) fell at his home about a week ago. Thinks he may have lost consiousness then but not sure. He had been to the doctor recently with a bout of pneumonia.

    My mother had diabetes. The tiredness, unable to wake him, lethargic all are familiar signs my mother suffered when she had low blood sugar. I have no idea what hemoglobin is. I believe anemia? Not sure. But I know once your blood sugar gets too low your organs malfunction. And can cause death.

    The doctors didn't say any of that. Only that they do not know what put him into cardiac arrest and they are doing an autopsy.

    In a way, this will be helpful for my family. My husbands parents were not in his life since a very young age. He and his brother struggled through some very tough times and that connection always kept them together.(not physically)
    I have absolutely NO medical history on my husbands family. Father was an alcoholic who beat his family. Died in car accident due to being intoxicated. That is the only family history I have. And that information I got from my brother in law that passed away. My husband is very, very quiet about those young years.

    So, I feel his blood sugar was the altimate factor. I believe his fall a week or so ago was also due to blood sugar. We will wait for the autopsy report and I will not say anything to my husband about this. He is really upset. Doctor did say he passed quietly, in no pain.

    thank you again for all your thoughts. Each and every one is appreciated.
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You could be on to something- he might have been diabetic but unaware of it. What a shame. I hope someday your husband can open up and let some of the pain out that he surely must feel.