Does your difficult child threaten?

[biracialkids]

If my son gets really angry he'll threaten to break things, the TV, the door, etc. Today we were putting up the Christmas tree, he was helping and doing a great job and once it was over he got upset and threatened to knock it down. How common are incidents like this?

 

[BusynMember]

I had lots of problems as a kid. For years and years we thought it was early onset bipolar. Now high functioning autism is being explored for me, strictly for Disability. At this time in my life, I don't care about the labels. As a child, I not only threatened to break things, I did break them. medications put an end to that, but not until adulthood. I definitely have, and always did have, some stuff going on--probably early onset bipolar mixed with High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Those disorders can seriously frustrate children and adults into doing things "normal" people have the restraint not to do. That is why early treatment is so important, and trying to figure out what is what is equally important. ODD is a label that explains a certain aspect of behavior, but doesn't say why and it rarely travels by itself. In short, I'd say it's not the norm for kids to threaten to break things or to break things, but it IS the norm if the child has a disorder (or an adult) and has not yet gotten a proper diagnosis and proper treatment. That can take a long time and is in no way a reflection on your own parenting skills.

 

[biracialkids]

[ QUOTE ]
I had lots of problems as a kid. For years and years we thought it was early onset bipolar. Now high functioning autism is being explored for me, strictly for Disability. At this time in my life, I don't care about the labels. As a child, I not only threatened to break things, I did break them. medications put an end to that, but not until adulthood. I definitely have, and always did have, some stuff going on--probably early onset bipolar mixed with High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Those disorders can seriously frustrate children and adults into doing things "normal" people have the restraint not to do. That is why early treatment is so important, and trying to figure out what is what is equally important. ODD is a label that explains a certain aspect of behavior, but doesn't say why and it rarely travels by itself. In short, I'd say it's not the norm for kids to threaten to break things or to break things, but it IS the norm if the child has a disorder (or an adult) and has not yet gotten a proper diagnosis and proper treatment. That can take a long time and is in no way a reflection on your own parenting skills.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you for the response. I don't think his behaviour is the norm I just hope that when I start making calls tomorrow someone will take me seriously since our doctor doesn't.

 

[tiredmommy]

Hi, I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to properly greet you before now. Welcome aboard!
Violence toward people, pets and property maybe isn't frequent enough to be considered common on this site, but I'd hazard to guess that most or all of our kids have been violent at some point. You are definitely not alone in this.
Many of us have recorded our kids in a rage or kept behavior journals to show to our doctors. Most think we're exaggerating until then. :wink: It took me threatening to call and complain to our insurance carrier before our old pediatrician would refer me for any testing. Needless to say, we are no longer in his practice. :grin:

 

[DammitJanet]

Im with Midwestmom in that I was a difficult child as a child and I am still a difficult child today. Not only have I threatened to break things but I did break things and I continue to carry on that behavior today. I havent been able to get it completely under control yet no matter how hard I try. One would think that at my age...and I will be 45 in a few short months...that I would be able to control myself be sheer will, but I cant. Something simply comes over me when, as I put it, the stars align, and the monster comes out. I also have borderline personality disorder and ptsd which makes things even more interesting.

I do think with early intervention like parents on these boards are getting, the outcome is so much better. I wasnt treated or diagnosed until I was in my 30s. Late 30s at that. I know I am far more severe than my son is.

 

[Liahona]

Yes he threatens lots of things. Breaking my legs, killing a brother, he doesn't normally follow through enough that anyone gets hospitalized. He just starts to, or hurt his brothers enough to make them cry, but not kill them. Like he is trying to get a reaction from me. He does get a reaction. He gets very calmly put in time out. No, this is definatly not normal behavior, and we're trying to find a solution for him. difficult child is comfortable enough with our doctor that the doctor sees the behavior 1st hand. So, I haven't had to convince anyone. I do keep a behavior journal though. I can't keep my days straight anymore. So a behavior journal lets me keep track of what difficult child has done. Then right before the therapy visits I copy and past and e-mail it the therapist. The therapist has a really good idea of what difficult child has done that week, too. And, I don't have to discuss issues in front of difficult child that would set him off again. I also try to include in the journal my or husband's response so if there is anything parenting wise we can change the therapist can tell us.

 

[BusynMember]

I would say that it really depends on what is wrong, but, in my opinion, it's best to get a Multi-disciplinary Evaluation rather than see a therapist right off. A therapist is not an MD and is trained in "talk and behavioral therapy" which often is not enough to address the core problem. I would buy Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child" and use that method until you can get your child into a university or children's hospital for a MDE. There's a waiting list usually, but in my opinion it's better to see professionals who have a good rep and a waiting list than to see somebody you can get into seeing right off who is less credentialed in figuring out what is wrong. If the child has any delays in speech or otherwise, I'd also want to see a Developmental Pediatrician.