New to site. My difficult child is 15...going to be 16 in October. He's been admitted to an adolescent crisis center 3 times for being suicidal/depression/cutting. We spent a year trying all kinds of pills that seemed to do nothing. We stopped medications. Now he's back in therapy and revealing extreme dark thoughts involving violence. He has never comitted a voilent act thus far. He told me saturday night that he's only felt safe when in the crisis centers and if it were up to him he would go in indefinitely. He says its so tiring to wear the mask of being "normal". He says it's hard to control his thoughts. This is a boy that teachers have always loved, who has friends, and family that love him. He loves his pets. He's polite. Only now is he revealing an "inner" self that is dark. What to do?! I feel as if there's no hope but to lose my only child to suicide or incarceration. My heart is breaking.