Dropped off on our doorstep


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2 wks ago my son was discharged from a terrible 28 day treatment program. They did NO discharge planning knowing full well he had no where to go. So, they dropped him off on our doorstep at 10pm at night. He hasnt lived with us for a year, & he's never lived in this house!

Not only that, but with a nearly full month supply of his prescription pain medication: Tramadol.... 240 pills! We allowed him to stay for a few days, what else could we do?? It was discovered he took 80 Tramadol pills (above what he was he was already prescribed ) in the first 3 days here. When i realized he was abusing them, we took control of all medications immediately.

Now, he sits in the City Rescue Mission. (The city homeless shelter) Until someone figures out what to do with him. That was the absolute hardest thing to do as a parent. I'm ashamed. Most of our family & friends don't even know.

His right leg is still non functional from the knee down. Because of this, he doesnt qualify for most of the free drug rehab/work programs. The good news is, his kidneys have fully recovered. We've applied for several programs, including SSI, but they all take time to get into. In the meantime, he is severely depeessed.
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Oh comatheart I am so sad to read this. So that treatment program did nothing to help your son and probably just made it worse.


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That is awful!! Sounds like one of the horrid experiences we had with rehabs until this last one.

Do not be ashamed! You have nothing to be ashamed of!!

Why doesn't he qualify because of his knee? I don't understand...


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It's so dumb the way rehabs work sometimes! Discharge planning should be a priority for a successful outcome. I'm sorry you're going through this comatheart! I pray everything works out for your son!


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Patriots Girl... he OD and suffered from a bunch of things, but lasting nerve damage in his leg has left him disabled. He gets around on crutches or a walker. The free rehab programs require you to be able to work. He is unable to at this time. He's been disqualified from their programs.


SSI is ok but has he applied for disability? That comes with insurance. My son is on it and it only took a month to get. I know it takes others a lot longer to get and I can't believe he got so fast. Worth a try.


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He doesent have enough work history to qualify for SSDI.

Social Security Disability confuses me too, but my youngest son has it. He had it when he turned eighteen because he is on the autism spectrum. When he got it, he had never worked a day in his life as he was fresh out of high school. And, yes, it is definitely SSDI with the medical benefits.

I'd ask a few questions about kids who get disability payments as minors (mine didn't), or right out of high school. I don't get why my son got disability but yours can't when he is obviously disabled...

So sorry for all you have been through.


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Please don't be ashamed. You have fought valiantly to get the help needed for your son all along the way. Your efforts are not in vain! I know there is little comfort in having a son left at the homeless shelter right now...but it was not YOU who really put him in this place no more than it was me for my son.

My prayer is that your son will finally see where addiction has lead him in his life...that he will finally want real help to get well.

I know nothing about disability. I hope he will qualify for it soon though. Meanwhile please take heart that you are an awesome mamma who has gone to any and every length to get help for your son...the rest is up to him.

Please be kind to yourself.

in a daze

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Social Security Disability confuses me too, but my youngest son has it. He had it when he turned eighteen because he is on the autism spectrum. When he got it, he had never worked a day in his life as he was fresh out of high school. And, yes, it is definitely SSDI with the medical benefits.

MWM does your son get Medicaid or Medicare? It confuses me too.


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Yes. My son gets both. He got job placement and a caseworker to drive him places too. He doesn't want a license (and I doubt he'd be a good driver. He is too nervous). SSDI opens much more doors than SSI.


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Staff member
comaheart, it is good to hear from you. I am sorry that things have gone downhill. On the upside, though, being at the city mission center might open up some things for your son.

When we finally stopped helping our daughter financially, it was amazing how she still managed to survive. She found halfway houses that would take her in with the promise she would get a job. I understand that is a problem for your son but can he work at something like a call center where he would sit all day? My daughter has gotten (and lost) several of those kinds of jobs.

My daughter also always expected us to buy her contacts and glasses which she would promptly lose. After buying two pairs of glasses for her last year I finally said no more. I was amazed to hear recently that she had new glasses. I asked husband how she was able to afford them and he said that she told him that her case manager had arranged for her to get new glasses. Of course, she has lost them since then but that is her problem.

I look back at all of those years I thought we had to take care of her but it seems like there are resources for the homeless and indigent.

In the meantime, your son is still not seeking help for his addiction. I learned the hard way that nothing anyone else does will have any effect until the person wants sobriety.

Please know that you are often in my thoughts and hoping that your son will finally want help and that you find the peace that you deserve.




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Sounding off on the SSDI/SSI question. MWM, I'm sure you know what your son gets, but it makes no sense to me, because I'm positive that SSDI (Social Security Disability) requires a work history. SSI (Supplemental Security Income) is for people who don't have work history. There are programs for working disabled people, so maybe that has something to do with it? Because I know you said he's working now. SSI is what children get. Always SSI...never SSDI unless they are drawing from a disabled parent's benefits.

Anyway, both automatically qualify you for Medicaid (at least in in most states). Medicare is generally linked to SSDI, but you can get both and if you also are a qualified working disabled person, you can get Medicare I believe. I haven't read this closely...but this might clear up some questions. http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ssi/text-other-ussi.htm

Comaheart, You and your son are in my prayers. Maybe he's eligible for some type of Vocational Rehabilitation program? He's clearly not going to be able to do manual labor...but he could still learn and have chance to better his life. Don't give up on the programs and if he's turned down, ask for hearings - appeal, appeal, appeal! We do the Medicaid hearings for my state at my office (not actually my field though) and I can tell you the Medical Review Team often turns people down...but the hearing officers reverse them all the time.


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Comaheart I am so glad to hear that his kidneys are working again. Sorry to hear about the leg. You would think that being disabled to that point would make an impact but I guess not considering he popped 80 tramadol in three days. I can't believe they even found a doctor dumb enough to write that script. Stupid!

Don't feel bad you are doing everything you can to help him. He needs to learn to help himself for a change.


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Lil, we were told he gets disability, but maybe he does get SSI. He does get Medicaid and Medicare and lots of other services too. The SSI isn't too shabby an amount, but since he works it varies month to month. Depends on how many weeks are in the month...how much he makes.


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The SSI/SSDI stuff is SO confusing. We applied for one online ( i can't remember which right now) and we'll go from there. They are currently retrieving his records.

I spoke with the medical director of the treatment center difficult child has been to the first 3 times he went to rehab. I wanted clarification of his diagnosis. I knew it had changed since he'd gone the fist time but I only had records from that first psychiatric evaluation. Turns out, he's actually diagnosis Polysubstance dependency and Schizoaffective disorder. Much of this diagnosis makes so much sense! There are a few parts that I question, but I think it will help him get services?

He is still at the homeless shelter. We think he's using again. Not sure what, but he's had lots of dr appts that we pick him up for and well, a mother just knows. My husband made the comment he thinks difficult child actually likes staying at the shelter. He gets 3 meals a day and no one is telling him what to do!! Sadly, I think he's right. difficult child is always in a rush to get back there. It's so sad. Not at all what I envisioned for my son growing up.