Easter behind us

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by newstart, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    Lately my 35 year old daughter seems to be a bit more balanced. On top of her spa, she took on another job to help pay her bills. I see some financial moving ahead, as always she takes one step forward and two back. We had a nice Easter, our daughter attended Holy Thursday and Easter service with us. She was mellow and acted ok. We fixed a nice organic dinner for Easter, and then all of us took a long walk looking at the wild animals and spring flowers coming out. My daughter and her 1/2 ass boyfriend do not spend holidays together. Now that she has money coming in, not sure what we will do with our rent home, there is talk of her moving out, we have been interviewing possible renters, and she is not sure what she will do but things have changed since the money is coming in. We only have a few years left on the rent house and then we can own it. I talk with my daughter about this all the time, telling her that renting an apartment is a waste of money, but in the long run she will have to make up her own decisions, it is just awful when her bad decisions make all our lives harder, that is why healthy detaching is in order. I know it is the right thing to do. In the depth of my truth system I believe that time is short and we all have to help nurture and support one another, but with her I have to learn and do many things that are very hard because of my nature.
    For the short period my daughter is a bit balanced and moving ahead but I understand how she operates so I am always on guard, knowing that any second she can be back to square one..

    My daughters birthday is in a few days so I bought her a nice gift, spending 1/2 of what I usually spend on her. I gave it to her early and she really appreciated it. She thanked me several times. I was not sure I was going to even give her a gift but decided to. My husband said she did not deserve anything.

     
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  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I am very happy for your good times!! Enjoy them!

    Please guard your kind heart and realize this probably won't last forever...she does not seem capable of sustaining good relationships long term. You are too kind to let her hurt you again.

    Cherish the good times :). Remember YOU are important and watch out for yourself too.
     
  3. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    Thank you SWOT, Yes I am on high alert and high guard. When my daughter seems more balanced I enjoy the few minutes because I know she will be turning soon. Yesterday she turned quickly. She was draining yesterday and on Easter she was ok. I feel off balance with her around most of the time. Her lying was off the charts yesterday. I think the 1/2 ass boyfriend is getting tired of it too. Even though both my daughter and her boyfriend are off balance I believe he is the kinder hearted out of the both of them. Both of them are a major mess and a triple mess together.