easy child transitioning back home

[TerryJ2]

easy child had a great therapy session last wk and seems to have come to terms with-moving back home. She knows it's only temporary before she leaves for college, but her main concern was that she would be loaded down with-responsibility for all of our emotions and actions, and we reassured her that was our job as parents.

So, last night, as part of my Mother's Day gift, she spent the night here.
Everything went very smoothly. difficult child announced he was going to bed, and then he read for 45 min. and turned out the light by himself. easy child studied downstairs, and asked for the TV cord, but thought better of it because it might disturb difficult child's sleep.

Yaaay!

She will not be here tonight but will be here 2 more nights this wk.

husband and I have a counseling session with-difficult child tonight, where we are going to discuss difficult child's continuing attitude that he is in charge, and that rules are for everyone except him. Plus, when he lies, he's not really lying, it was just a misunderstanding, but when we change our minds, we're lying.
We've got some ground to cover.

Still, we're making great strides.

 

[crazymama30]

I am so glad things are turning a corner for you. Here's hoping they stay good. I am glad easy child stayed the night and all went well. I needed a positive something right now, so thank you. This is great.

 

[Fran]

Sounds like good progress.

 

[Wiped Out]

Terry,
I'm glad you are seeing progress. I hope the appointment. tonight went well.

 

[Star*]

Terry -

THIS IS FANTASTIC!!!!!! I'm so proud of easy child. I know it has NOT been easy on her and she sounds like she's really, really trying.

THATS OUR GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[recovering doormat]

Glad to see someone making progress! I hope all continues on this trajectory. It's nice that easy child thought about not disturbing her brother on her own.

 

[TerryJ2]

LOL!
I just re-read my sentence about it being "our responsibility," and realize it sounded like it was our responsibility to pile emotional carp on easy child.
I'm glad you all understood what I meant.

The session with-difficult child was okay but it went very fast. I had to leave early and husband came in late and then finished up, so I still don't know exactly what they finished up with. difficult child did admit that he hated it when I gestured with-my hands and put one hand, palm facing the floor, above my head, and the other, palm facing the floor, at chest level, to indicate he was below us. He got very upset and couldn't explain it, so I asked if it made him feel like a little kid and he said yes. He asked if we could just say that we're in charge.
Not sure what's up with-that. I think the therapist may want an entire session alone with-difficult child to figure out why he's so set on being in charge. I realize he's wired differently but until we figure out where he's coming from, I don't think we'll make much more progress.
I think it's purely emotional and not based on logic. But then, emotions are based on thoughts, so we have to figure out the flaw in his thinking and correct it. (I hope that makes sense.)

 

[Nomad]

Glad to hear that everyone is going to the appropriate counseling sessions.

Ya know...the time before college is very tricky. The kids start to detach...assert independence in a big way. It is only natural.

Yes, us parents can NOT burden children/siblings with difficult child "business." It is highly inappropriate and even dangerous.

Sounds like the therapy is going very well!

Awesome!

 

[Christy]

I hope things contine to go well with easy child move back home.

I'll be curious to see if difficult child's therapist is able to make any progress on the "need to be in charge" issue.

Good Luck!

 

[TerryJ2]

Me, too. I'm booking some appts in a min.