My husband STILL (after 2 yrs of marriage and 5 yrs of togetherness) doesn't go with what I say. It's our biggest issue with this relationship... we are CONSTANTLY fighting about discipline and what's "wrong" with my difficult child.
I tell him to [bad word] himself, I'll do it myself.
Although, last time, I threw my spatula on the stove (I was cooking bacon) and told him, fudge it all! YOU go to the doctor's! YOU talk to the teachers! YOU do EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! I walked out of the house and left.
I'll tell you...he apologized like crazy when I finally came home (about 11:00pm) and sat down and talked to me until 2:00 in the morning.
It's hard, Honey, I know...and fighting is the worst thing you can do when your poor child is stuck right in the middle of it all.
My husband FINALLY woke up when my difficult child got suspended and he actually went to his MOM'S house to ask for HELP! What a breakthrough for him! You see, he's the type that's very anti therapy, anti medications, anti mental issues...you know. My difficult child is "COMPLETELY in control of EVERYTHING he's doing"... blah blah blah....
I'm not saying to yell at your hubby. You DO, however, need to explain to him that, if things are going to work, you both need to be on the same team. If one parent is acting one way and the other, another... Well...it will cause complete chaos. Your child will see one parent one way, the other parent another way and use that to their advantage, ultimately pushing both of you apart (thank you, mom-in-law, for warning me ahead of time of what she had to deal with when my husband and his bro were younger and her and her husband were butting heads).
It sounds like your husband is willing to go to counseling (lucky!)....try your town hall... I remember that my old town had free family counseling. Try the department of social services, your doctor, a church (even if you aren't religious!), community mental health centers... There's always someone out there willing to help, trust me.
This, too, shall pass, Love. Hang in there. :pet: