Malika
Well-Known Member
Well, funny the way it goes, isn't it... the comic sense of timing the universe has sometimes. This week J is going to the activity/play centre where he goes during the holidays (when we are not away) and occasional Wednesdays. He always seems to enjoy it and the staff in the past have seemed affectionate towards and positive about him. As I got out of the car to go into the building, I was thinking something along the lines of "Isn't it nice that J has this positive experience?" Well, as they say, not... When I got inside, the female director was looking VERY stressed and tense and was shouting at her son, aged about 8, who goes to the centre also. I know he and J are particular pals so I said tentatively... "Umm, everything go okay today?" She started making faces, groaning, saying "Well, J is very sweet and all that but... when boys just do naughty things all day and they won't listen, it's very frustrating!" I tried to elucidate what naughty things exactly... oh nothing really naughty, she said, just children's things, boy things... not listening, not obeying the rules. Tried to ask her what rules but no good, she was too stressed and upset. The male assistant was there - seems like a nice character, with dreadlocks halfway down his back - and he got very cross with J while I was talking to her, for running past him and not listening. And for play fighting, apparently...oh dear, seems they are trying to stop them play fighting at the centre "in case someone gets hurt", although they let them at school... I don't think it's very sensible but it's their centre, their rules. Anyway, I talked to the guy after and he seemed sympathetic. Kept saying J was a really nice kid and he was very fond of him and that wasn't the problem but... they had 30 kids there and the kids had to listen, etc. Which I don't disagree with exactly but thus far all I could get out of anyone was that J sometimes rushed past people without stopping when he was playing and his name was called (well, yes, but I don't think that particular thing is being wilfully naughty) and that he and the other boy were play fighting even though they had been told not to. I said to the director that no-one had ever complained before and she said that was she had told the staff to say everything was fine unless it was really not fine and then she would deal with it...
I did say to the guy that J was hyperactive and that, although of course my little darling couldn't have everything geared around him, he did need to be treated slightly differently and he seemed to understand that - and didn't seem at all surprised by the hyperactivity. He said a friend's son was hyperactive and he recognised it.
I don't know... I've never thought to say anything to the play centre about J being ADHD - because would it really make any difference anyway, when so many people haven't even heard of it? - but maybe I should. Though obviously this other boy, not hyperactive, was being just as "troublesome" as J.
How would you deal with it if it was your ADHD kid?
I did say to the guy that J was hyperactive and that, although of course my little darling couldn't have everything geared around him, he did need to be treated slightly differently and he seemed to understand that - and didn't seem at all surprised by the hyperactivity. He said a friend's son was hyperactive and he recognised it.
I don't know... I've never thought to say anything to the play centre about J being ADHD - because would it really make any difference anyway, when so many people haven't even heard of it? - but maybe I should. Though obviously this other boy, not hyperactive, was being just as "troublesome" as J.
How would you deal with it if it was your ADHD kid?