Feeling a little more normal....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Feb 15, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Those of you who've had your difficult children in a treatment facility for any length of time know this feeling.

    The feeling of loss - emptiness. The need to redefine yourself because someone else is parenting your child(ren) - for whatever reason.

    While the tweedles have been in varying treatment facilities I've worked hard to take on new, different challenges while maintaining my commitments to my children.

    I feel a little more "evened out", if you will. Not everything is so extreme on a day to day basis. I've learned to relax. I've experimented with new adventures, taken in a retreat with husband, participated in a piano recital & am in the process of signing up for a couple of golf leagues for this coming summer. I'm due to start school in the next month or so.

    Now that kt is transitioning home, I'm beginning to feel a new joy in being a parent. I feel like we're are at a new beginning.

    While I anticipate a lot of the same old same old out of kt - I also expect to see her use her new coping skills. kt is still not functioning at a very high level - yet I feel more hope that I did, even a month ago.

    Thanks for listening....your support has been more than a godsend over the last year.
  2. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    Although my son was older the first time he entered an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (14), I do understand.

    I'm glad that you're out trying new things and doing things for yourself.

    Sending hugs,
  3. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    That "even" feeling makes sense to me even without the placement. When we first started down this winding road the new curves seemed to come evey half day. There was some new concept, new issue, something that had to be learned and mastered.
    Giving medications to a screaming, barfing 6 year old, comes to mind.

    Now however, even if there are issues and new challenges I feel better able to deal with them.
    So I think some of that comes from working through the grieving process,at least for me. I'm learnig to deal with how things are and not what I wish them to be....but I know I'm a long way from any kind of acceptance.

    So Linda I will continue to learn from you and the others who have been in the process longer. As you and others travel your path you have made it easier for those who follow, by offering your friendship, support and expereince.
    I just wanted you to know how much it has helped.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a nice post to read. It is so good you have used the time to recharge. You sound so positive and hopeful and it is so nice-you deserve the best!
  5. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I'm glad you are feeling so much better than you were. You do sound happier lately, and I'm happy for that.

  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    What a blessing, Linda.

    When Rob went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he was so damaged that our relationship has never been the same...nor will it ever be... now tenuous at best.

    I still grieve.

    I am so happy for your new chance.

  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    This is a nice post to read. It does help those of us "newbies". I hope so much, that I can avoid these situations but reading your honest revelations lets me know we can get through it. Thanks Linda
  8. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I've always admired the way you can take a bad situation and actively do things that minimizes the bad. My mother offers the same "winner" attitude. You are am excellent example to the wimps out here like me about what I can do to deal with the hard times instead of just crawling into bed and pulling up the covers. I am hoping some of it rubs off on me.

    I am very happy you can see positive growth with kt and you are enjoying the mom time.

    TYLERFAN New Member

    Glad your keeping yourself busy Linda.
    You have withstood so much over the years. I am so happy you are finding peace in your life.
    Sending hugs for you and your darling difficult child's.

  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Ladies, it has, as has been said many times here, a journey. The journey continues with all the challenges - sadness, happiness & everything in between.

    The fact that I feel more hopeful, comes from the 9 month break of the constant chaos husband & I faced with one tweedle or another. As painful as placement is...it has been the best thing to happen. For myself, my husband, my marriage & in the end, my children.

    Again, thank you for the support. I pray daily that my little family & all the families here on the board can continue to move forward.

    Remember this is a journey....nothing will be "cured" overnight.
  11. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    so does Residential Treatment Center (RTC) train our kids...our us? it redefined my relationship with ant to have him out of touch time and again. it changed what I thought mothering was. it gave much more depth to me.

    I also found while ant was "underconstruction" elsewhere...I had more time to read, paint and work in the yard. All kids grow up and move on one day. we get more a taste of that when the kids are under another's care. emptynesting but with a twist that they will be back and we know it.

    glad to read about you sounding so relaxed!