lordGoldemort
New Member
Hi everyone, first post here, nice to find a place of support.
I have two daughters - my youngest will by 13 tomorrow, my eldest 15 next week. In some respects they couldn't be more different. The older one is generally kind and diligent - not the smarter of the two, but works so very hard and punches above her weight. She can be very positive and has done things that would have scared me at her age (last week she returned from a school trip to Nepal!)
The other one though... clearly she is bright, probably academically a few steps ahead of her sibling. But she wastes it. All the t(w)eenage cliches seem to apply: she is lazy, occasionally abusive, shows a contempt for the efforts my wife and I are making, refuses to do anything around the house, shows interest in nothing, pushes boundaries to the point of outright defiance with the amount of screen time she gets (transitions from watching crap on TV to phone to tablet, paying puppy games or WhatsApp messaging with friends). This is despite a huge amount of involvement, love and encouragement from myself and my wife. She eats little else than sugar, and her tastes have narrowed as she has grown older rather than expanded (largely because she is so fussy that she gets bored with the limited palette she will tolerate). She is also actively nasty to her older sister, who (to her credit) tries her best to remain calm in the face of provocation.
I feel like I have run out of weapons now. Time-out and sticker charts? Too old to care. She gets pocket money by direct debit and can go out and buy the small things we don't provide (so "no sugary treats", the previous Nuclear Option no longer works). Remove the internet? She switches to 4G. Stop paying for top-ups? She pays herself as she has a bank account and a debit card). My wife is a f**king chocolate teapot who brings stress home from her (admittedly unpleasant) work and cranks up the tension at home, barking orders at the kids, ranting at them without listening, and then hides at the ensuing crisis. As a result I face all the s**t myself and I feel so bloody lonely and powerless, like no-one has got my back. I want to walk out (not that I think I will, but I want to, and that makes me feel like a prisoner).
Like I said, it's her 13th birthday tomorrow. Don't feel like I have much to celebrate.
</rant>
#thanksforlistening
I have two daughters - my youngest will by 13 tomorrow, my eldest 15 next week. In some respects they couldn't be more different. The older one is generally kind and diligent - not the smarter of the two, but works so very hard and punches above her weight. She can be very positive and has done things that would have scared me at her age (last week she returned from a school trip to Nepal!)
The other one though... clearly she is bright, probably academically a few steps ahead of her sibling. But she wastes it. All the t(w)eenage cliches seem to apply: she is lazy, occasionally abusive, shows a contempt for the efforts my wife and I are making, refuses to do anything around the house, shows interest in nothing, pushes boundaries to the point of outright defiance with the amount of screen time she gets (transitions from watching crap on TV to phone to tablet, paying puppy games or WhatsApp messaging with friends). This is despite a huge amount of involvement, love and encouragement from myself and my wife. She eats little else than sugar, and her tastes have narrowed as she has grown older rather than expanded (largely because she is so fussy that she gets bored with the limited palette she will tolerate). She is also actively nasty to her older sister, who (to her credit) tries her best to remain calm in the face of provocation.
I feel like I have run out of weapons now. Time-out and sticker charts? Too old to care. She gets pocket money by direct debit and can go out and buy the small things we don't provide (so "no sugary treats", the previous Nuclear Option no longer works). Remove the internet? She switches to 4G. Stop paying for top-ups? She pays herself as she has a bank account and a debit card). My wife is a f**king chocolate teapot who brings stress home from her (admittedly unpleasant) work and cranks up the tension at home, barking orders at the kids, ranting at them without listening, and then hides at the ensuing crisis. As a result I face all the s**t myself and I feel so bloody lonely and powerless, like no-one has got my back. I want to walk out (not that I think I will, but I want to, and that makes me feel like a prisoner).
Like I said, it's her 13th birthday tomorrow. Don't feel like I have much to celebrate.
</rant>
#thanksforlistening