I so need a break and it's not going to happen anytime soon, if ever. I am finding myself resentful of....well...pretty much everything - the kids, the animals, the schools, stupid questions, having to repeat myself (not because they're not listening, but because they didn't understand - well, and because they're not listening). The episode with Wynter earlier this week certainly didn't help any. It pretty much pushed me over the edge and I can't make myself care too much about anything. Her behavior has been better, but that just means she's not arguing and being nasty. She still takes no initiative. Not with her school work, not with helping around the house. Hell, she can't even feed HER dogs unless I tell her to. If I'm sleeping a lot, they just don't eat until I get up. If I go outside and don't want to take the dogs with me, she gets pissy. Excuse me? I'm the one taking care of them completely. If you want to do something different, you're more than welcome to do so, but don't you dare criticize me when I'm the ONLY one doing it. Devon got a speeding ticket. He's a juvenile so that means court and suspension of his license and so now I have to try to get at least some restricted privileges because I need him driving. He's had 2 detentions and one in school suspension for being late - 13 tardies since school started, most of them 1 or 2 minutes tops. Now, they are doing something called SAP - Suspension Avoidance Program or something - where instead of being suspended a day which would be an unexcused absence and he couldn't make up the work, he is suspended a day and does community service and the absence is excused. He got the ticket because he was going to be late for school. Doing 36 in a school zone. Bet he's going to have a hard time keeping privileges and I can't drive much. I hope they give him something really yucky for community service cause I am sick of nagging til I'm blue in the face. And of course the Assistant Principal is just a [word that would be edited]. Hello? YOU are the one that was late 13 times! We live about a mile from the school. He's 17. I'm sick and tired of repeating myself. For crying out loud, he ended up doing diversion through juvie court last year where he had to do 30 hours of community service and pay court fees for the very same thing!!! And I had to nag him to death to do the community service or else diversion would have been revoked and he would have had to go in front of the judge and it would have been part of his record. With diversion, there is no record. And I had to nag him. Every day. I've been doing the natural consequences because for some reason this kid HAS to learn the hard way and even then he doesn't learn. My mom gets really big on how much I'm sleeping and if I sleep too much during the day and am up later at night. She's a early morning person and it's always bothered her that I'm a night person. But, even with that I sleep *a lot* when I'm in a flare. My body needs it. Every. Single. Time. I talk to her she's saying, "Well, you should stay up til this time and then you'll get your nights and days turned around." I'm really, really, really tired of having this conversation. How many years has it been??? I sleep when my body needs to sleep. That meant I was up for 5 hours total on Friday. And those 5 hours that I was up...I was out of it and fighting to stay awake. Then after that, I was only up 8 hours and slept for 6 more hours. She's asking what time I got up. Did you set your alarm? No. Why not? Because my body needs to rest. I could go on and on and on. Bottom line is, I want both kids and all the animals (except for Jewel and Abbey, of course) out of my house for at least a weekend. I want to turn off the phone and the outside world. So, I'll never get the animals to go anywhere, and even if I sent Wynter to my mom's all I would hear is moaning and complaining from both of them about the other and it's just not worth it. I could easily send easy child to a friend's house to stay, but that's not going to change the upcoming SAP thing and the Dec 4th court date on the ticket. I always say I'm going to run away and say the name of the country I'm going to run away to. I've been saying this for years and now I can't even remember the name of the country. Little country by Mexico. How sad is that? Now I have nowhere to run away to cause I don't know where I'm going! I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.