For exemple: when we have issues at snack time (without going into details), is it because he is defiant/oppositional or is it because he can't process the information? When he does not learn any academics (despite being a very smart little boy), is because he does not want to or because he can't?
I see what you are getting at, and simply put, it still only gives you a starting point to research information and observe your child. You still wouldn't have the answers to the example questions above. Just because MOST kids with processing issues cause a ruckus at meal time, doesn't necessarily mean that is the case for YOUR child with the same processing issues.
Last quarter, son's grades dropped in Social Studies and Math. He suffers from various issues including information processing etc.
Generally he does all his assignments the way he is supposed to.
Generally if he does not complete an assignment (or does a VERY poor job of it) it is because he can't. After hundreds of questions, I finally understood that there were some concepts in Math that he just could NOT process. He'd get stuck on a select few problems, and could NOT move on. We need to explore further these problem areas. In SS however, he actually got lazy. Projects required a hand drawn map and flag. Well, he handed in a digital map and flag and the teacher deememd it "acceptable" Son, however did not process "acceptable" correctly and didn't understand that while he was getting a passing grade, it was not a good grade. These grades did not get posted so when he did the next project he did it the same way - digitally. When I notice and ask about it, he responded that teacher "accepted" it last time so it should be OK. Turns out he got Ds for digital. If they were hand drawn they would have been As
BOTH teachers said that he was NOT putting forth his full effort. And I'm sure that's exactly what it looked like to BOTH teachers. The reality is that there is one child with one label, with two VERY similar situations and behaviors, but only in one case is the real problem a part of his label. The other case he was being a "regular" teenager and being "lazy"(yes, since he didn't process "acceptable" correctly, I could argue and get a "do over" for him, but since his overall grade will be acceptable (barely) to me, I'll save my energy for the bigger issues)
So, even if you have labels, you still won't know for sure the answers to your example questions.
in my opinion the more permanent the label, the better. There are some labels that are considered developmental which a child can grow out of. (temporary) Then there are those that a child can adapt to, but will never shed even in adulthood. Many schools like to take away IEPs and 504 plans when a child is showing marked improvement. If your child has a permanent label this becomes more difficult for them to do.
by the way there is another TV show I remembered - Parenthood. I forgot all about it because it is not currently in season, but you might be able to find episodes online or "on Demand" The show is about parenthood in general with various situations, and one family has a boy who was diagnosed with Asperger's. They handle it very well and realistically, and I am always in awe of how well that little boy plays that role.