Hello everyone. This is my first post. I have been reading all of you posts and advice to eachother for over a year. I have been inspired by all of you and have cried for you, your kids and myself and my kids while reading. Not sure why today is the day I decided to jump in...but it is. Last night my sweet, sweet boy, J, told me that he never wanted to see my rotten ugly face again and that he wanted to leave our horrible disgusting house forever. He was sooo hateful. He is truly a gentle soul and I could see him grasping to find the most hurtful words he could think of. I am so afraid...his illnesses have already stolen so much of my little boy, I can hardly stand to watch this next phase. What if the hateful parts become bigger than the sweet parts?