Just a note to say a huge thank you to all of you dear people on this forum. I'm getting back to "me" again, and maybe I'll be just a little wiser and a little more able to withstand the fierce winds of addiction. Five Al-Anon meetings later, since last Thursday, I can truly say that even though I sure didn't want to go on Thursday night, I KNEW that would help me, and it did. I really wanted to just stay in, huddle, isolate, and take care of my bloody and beaten heart. But I have learned what to do to help myself, even if I don't feel like doing it, and so I did it and it was the best thing I could have done. My sleep was much better last night, and I have been more productive today. Not 100% back to par, but much better. There is nothing new. I told difficult child Friday let's talk again on Thursday and so I haven't heard from him. I am glad he hasn't tried to contact me, and I have had thoughts of him but I have been able to let the thoughts go for most of the day today. I sure did fall a long way down. I felt like I was free falling and I didn't know where the bottom was. The pain was horrendous. No answers, just one step at a time forward. Thanks again for your love, care, warmth and concern. It is everything.