GFGmom enjoying the drivers seat......

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yep, she still sees "her" sons as a means to prove she is in the drivers seat. Last week she took difficult child to the apt. she wants him to live in and put some of "his" money down for an early deposit. So far he has not had control of one disability check (over a year) but he tells me "I have to trust my Mom".

    SO then I pick up "the vibe" of her plan when easy child/difficult child says "my brother can't live by himself, Mama". I need to
    stay with him because he is
    scared to death.

    I won't go line by line on the
    happenings. The first of the month easy child/difficult child and difficult child will be sharing a 1 br apartment.

    Today easy child/difficult child said "Mom says that you will go crazy
    when you don't have me in our house anymore."

    Good Grief! Dantes Inferno
    has to have a level for GFGmom. Meanwhile, I'm going along with the plan and praying it works for them. DDD
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, nothing more you can do. You have done WAY more than most Gma's would. So, they have to learn the hard way. I pray they don't have to, but know they will.
    They are making this choice now and they will have to live with it. I do not think you should help them when the boulder rolls downhill this time.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I'd tell SSD/SSI to ask for an accounting. It has to go into an account with his name on it and it has to be spent on his living needs.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Yep....I"m difficult child's payee representative. I was told that I have to keep records and they WILL be checked yearly. difficult child's checks and account both read Mstang for difficult child. I have control but it has to be used on him.....within reason of course.
  5. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    In WI, SSI only requires a yearly accounting for those who have a guardian/rep. payee. Those with only a rep. payee but no guardian have no reporting requirements. Not sure if it's the same in FL.

    Hugs to you DDD, and I would crack a joke here about "GOING" crazy??!! Hello, aren't you crazy already?!?

  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    She has him set up as sole payee on an account that she shares. Evidently (based on what I've heard from difficult child) a mistake was made and his payments have been reduced for the past X months. When I asked "what mistake?" he replied "I don't know about that stuff but Mom's in charge."

    Also he tells me GFGmom has filed the paperwork for
    FAFSA (is that the right college funding name) on his behalf. Goodness Gracious! She doesn't leave a stone
    unturned if there is money there. Fact of the matter he
    is only approved for a remedial math course at the Jr.
    College AND he has a two year free tuition plan that easy child and her husband set up for him ten years ago. Hmmm??

    easy child/difficult child made up a list of rules if they are to live together and it included that husband or I had to be on his checking account with him. At least that way we can
    help monitor the insanity. His Mom told him (and he is
    grateful, omg) that if he doesn't have enough money she will give him $100 a month for food until he gets his food stamps. $25 a week!!! :sad-very: She's nuts and he is
    very vulnerable. DDD