I'm posting for my son who is having some problems with his four year old son. Here's a short backstory. Wife left for another man and had started changing since she obtained a new job...drinking, staying out late, spending overnights with her new honey (even when grandson is with her). The divorce is supposed to be final on Friday. Grandson is presenting some problems and my son would like some guidance on these issues. He is trying hard to present a stable home for his son when he has him (he has him half the time), however his X is NOT friendly nor willing to co-parent cooperatively with him. She is letting him stay up very late so his daycare lady sees him as tired all the time, and he's tired with my son as well as with X because his sleep patterns are off (and, no, she will not negotiate about it. She is always sure she is right and is unwilling to put her son before herself). She has physical custody. It is almost impossible, unless you have a ton of money to fight with, for a man to get physical custody in their state unless the mother is physically abusing him and it can be proven. When Grandson is with my son, he is starting to say, "Mommy doesn't make me eat XXXX for breakfast" or "mommy doesn't make me wear socks and shoes" or "mommy doesn't make me go to sleep this early." My son doesn't know how to handle this or if he should go along with X, in order not to upset grandson further, or to stand his ground, which makes his son compare him to his X again. X has only been gone for about four weeks. She had once been a responsible parent, but everything has changed. She doesn't communicate with my son except to yell at him (usually) so he tries not to talk to her so much. She does not pass along relevant information, such as how J. has been doing. She will never compromise. My son has a good lawyer, but he can't really afford to pay for the lawyer anymore so going to court and fighting her is not possible. Actually, my X is paying for the lawyer and has made it clear that he is not happy about it and he will be done once the divorce is final...and he wants as few charges on his credit card from the lawyer as possible. So settling anything in court is not possible. Son is also afraid to rock the boat with X so he doesn't. She is highly erratic in her behavior and he has no idea what she will do if he does anything to make her angry. Divorced parents with young kids and uncooperative X's...I know there are a lot of you...how do you think he can best handle this, especially when his son says, "Mommy does it this way." Is it worth it to put his foot down over little things, such as wearing shoes instead of flip flops or eating certain things for breakfast or is it best to go easy on his son because he is still confused and upset. What about bedtime and the problems he is having with the sleepiness and unwillingness to go to sleep? This is VERY new to both my son and his child, my grandson. He is very afraid his X will go back to court and try to alter their decree at some time, although so far she has no money and has not even retained a lawyer. The laws seem stacked heavily in favor of the mother unless you can afford a private eye who can find illegal stuff about Mom, and he can't afford one. All input is welcome. I am going to try to get him to read this.