had meeting....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nateisnuts, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. nateisnuts

    nateisnuts New Member

    So....we had the meeting yesterday morning. I let them know right up front that i was not happy with the recommendation and asked whet i could do about it. They told me i could go to a different agency if i felt i needed to. But the coordinator told me that if i took the behavior services through them that we would have a new evaluation in 2 months anyways and then i would have A's (the behavior specialist) input and report. Then i could ask for family based dervices and a tss aide if the 4 hours with A were not cutting it. Well i already know its not going to. I will play their little game though if i have to to get difficult child what he needs. Also when we take him to the neurologist on the 23rd im going to ask about a neuropsychologist evaluation. Ive already got my back up about a few things that A is suggesting. We talked about reducing the amount of toys he has out in the living room, dividing the toys into 3 or smaller boxes and he can pick one type of toy at a time to play with. We are in total agreement there. But she's talking about reducing his play space down to about a 5 foot square area. Im not ok with that. We live in a very small house, 1 bedroom for all 3 of us, it was actually a garage structure that the previous owner converted into a little guest house. He hardly has room now, im not gonna shrink it! Plus she was talking about then using that space as a time out....what?! Im not going to "cage" my son! And im sorry, if you use that strategy and it works for you then great, its just not going to work for us. And as a side note im not going to move my gate between the living room and kitchen cause my 8 month old is crawling now. So we will have to see how we get along when i tell her im not using that idea. She seems a bit set in her ideas Know what I mean??
    Yesterday after he meeting i had to run a few errands with my mom. For you moms who have boys who are adhd,odd,dbd, whichever lol HOW DO YOU TAKE THEM OUT?????? I wanna cry every time i have to go out in public with difficult child! He wont sit in the cart, screams to be held, if we get him out he runs off, knocks things over and on and on. And its just not practical to say walk away and leave the cart sit and leave. We are 45 min minimum from the closet town with a walmart, which is where i do my shopping. Plus alot of the time im with my mom and its not fair to make her leave either you know? difficult child should not have that control! Weve brought toys with, snacks, tried getting him to help, let him push the cart.....need new ideas lol UGH here i went and wrote a book again, im sorry! but thank you for reading it and thank you for any help!!yes
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    First off, I don't think your child is trying to control you. He may be terrified of going into a big store. Mine was. Here's a brief overview of my story and what I did (plus my advice to you).
    I have a boy on the autism spectrum. When he was toddler, I did not take him out unless hub was with me. If I had to shop at a 24/7 grocery store when hub was home, I did that rather than take him out. He was just too difficult, wouldn't stay in the cart, cried if I wouldn't get him what he wanted, screamed at loud noises and clung to me, and I felt like the whole world was staring at us. In a very real way, I was terrified somebody would call CPS (he is adopted and I'm white and my little guy is black--how easy would it have been to make the assumption that I stole this child?) My son calmed down a lot after he started interventions. Then we could take him places. I recommend a neuropsychologist exam. Don't try to guess what is wrong with him--but my guess is that it's more than the ADHD/ODD diagnosis. that most of us get as a first one. I personally never used or wanted to use state help and don't like behavioral therapists. They tend to think it's our faults that our kids are like they are and I knew that my son had been this way even before he came to live with us (at age two). Also Behavioral Therapists often give us advice that just does not work for our atypical kids, then blame us again when their advice fails. We just didn't go there.
    I suspected autism, but nobody agreed with me until he was elevin. So we forced the school district to give him interventions for autism anyways because he DID have a speech delay/ gross/fine motor problems and (haha) terrible social skills. It worked! Good luck!
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I rarely took mine out and if I had to, i tried to do it with only difficult child and no other kids along. Single stops not sandwiched in between activities worked best. Multiple stops were usually bad news.