Oh my! My heart aches for you.
I'm so glad a judge issued it for you like this.
I wasn't so lucky and had a long battle.
Also, for other reading this article. It is sometimes
very hard to get the defendant to get served.
Give all information you possible can to make sure
your harasser get's served WHEN you apply or are
dealing with the police to help get the notice served.
Ie: He walks over to the X gas station around five every
day to get a pack of cigarettes, His best friend lives..
He hangs out at this bar, His girlfriends works at X from
X to Y, etcetera. My state will use this information
and usually is appreciative they aren't sitting outside
some house waiting on someone who isn't there.
The worst situation to end up in is with a request for
an OP/RO and not have the person served with it.
Trust me, criminals will do all sorts of things not to get
served. My ex told me that he had him already packed
and on a "airplane". Ex wasn't fast enough cause the
kid go in other trouble before he got to the airport.
I know you love your son. There are so many long
term consequences for ever being ordered an OP or RO.
Personally, I was talked into the civil no contact order
to start. Be careful there, because if you accept that,
then your RO request tomorrow would be released
most probably with PREJUDICE against you. You will
also not be able to have your son arrested if he hurts you
or your property in the future. You should
definately talk to a lawyer or court representative if
anyone even starts with civil proceedings (no contact)
rather than criminal (RO/PO). Each state handles these
issues entirely different than the next. But a civil order
will protect you to receive damages (financially) from your
son. The RO will affect him for the rest of his life.
My first request would be for "remedies" (attempts to solve
your son's problems), such as medication and counseling.
Now is your chance to receive any state funding for drug
testing, anger management, etcetera. Ask for all the help
you can get, it can't hurt to ask.
I also used time as a factor, since my son was a minor, and
I knew all of his issues would be sealed at my state's legal
age of 18, praying he would stop and that the ordeal would
not be on his record for life. True, after looking back, I
am so grateful I also ended up protecting a few of his
girlfriends due to the OP that I had issued.
But for you, maybe ask for remedies and an "interim" RO,
that goes until a certain date, which later can be sorta dismissed
in the end. True, it still hits is record for life, but any future
charges won't be "magnified" as my state calls them.
If you are asking for a "plenary"/permanent RO, I advise you
to find someone or some support group. The emotional roller
coaster is exhausting as well as the social/public/family
inflictions.
Also, make sure you have all vehicle plate numbers and so forth
that you drive. Add the neighbor's car if you sometimes borrow
it. In regards to your schedule, if you work out every Tuesday
night at a gym, make sure you add that information to your
request. Sometimes we ran into trouble if the girls and I were
at a town carnival and son was also there. The police would
tell us that son hadn't done anything YET, and that the
place we were at (a church) was not included in the OP.
Add churches, laundromats, etc, if at all possible. Also,
If you ever need to stay at your parents, make sure you add
that in the paperwork somehow. Think of how you want
the RO to actually protect you and find someway to get that
information into the request paperwork.
Also, if your child has or has been around firearms, make sure
you personally follow up with your state to make sure
all firearm cards and licenses are revoked. Also, it is very
difficult to get a firearms card if you have an order you are
convicted of, in comparison to a case that eventually is
dismissed.
Most states have the paperwork on line. Have
friends and family look over the paperwork to make sure
you haven't missed anything. My state also did a good job
each and every time of notifying the girls school within 2
days of a court order. Some states seem to forget they
are responsible for notifying schools and daycare. I know
your kids are older and everything, but maybe this post
will help others here as well.
Get educated. Arrive early to see how the judge acts for
other cases. And please, please remember that everyone here
is wishing the best for you and your family.
