Happy New Year

[BusynMember]

You are too hard on yourself, dear. We all lose it and the worse they do the louder we roar. And I have tried to speak calmly to my kids. I can do that easily now because the only one that sometimes is not in control of himself at least would not steal from me and he does love me....in younger years I was not so patient with him or my daughter who used to use drugs. The lungs got exercise back then.

Your daughter is very challenging. I think you're doing the very best you can. Or anyone could.

As for who is in charge of your medical decisions, I hear you. We picked our most empathetic child for that and she also lives close. You have to look for somebody responsible and empathetic and before you get sick, which hopefully will not happen for a long time, make sure that your will is airtight, exactly how you want it and don't let her see it or know where it is. One of your nieces sound great! Maybe if you need long term hospitalization, you should plan to go near them if your husband is gone. Yuk, I hate thinking about this.
Morbid!

You have your head on straight. I am honestly so sorry that your daughter can not be trusted.

 

[Tanya M]

I knew for sure that when I got to be an old woman my son would make the best decisions on my care. I do not have that now. I have a daughter I cannot trust so I better make sure to take good care of my husband and myself. I live far away from my precious nieces and newphews and the years are coming on fast. I hear stories of parents getting sick and their children wipe them out completely.. I have to do many things to have legal documents in order to protect my husband and myself. I am just plain wore out.

Well said Newstart, well said!!
My husband and I wrote our wills a few years ago and made the decision to not leave anything to our son. He as two beautiful children that he abandoned and we are blessed to have a good relationship with their mom. We are leaving our estate in a trust to our grandchildren. Since our son made the choice to not take care of them or provide anything for them we feel this is best. I know if we left our son any money he would burn through it and we have worked to hard for what we have to have it just blown. If down the road things change with my son we can always make a change.
I too have to make sure I'm careful with the plans I make when I get older because I know I can't count on my son. My poor grandchildren will probably take care of me and grandpa.

 

[newstart]

Tanya, You are so lucky to have your grandchildren. I know there is never a replacement for our own child but having grandchildren must take some kind of edge out of not having your own child in your life. My grandmother and I were soul mates.

You are too hard on yourself, dear. We all lose it and the worse they do the louder we roar. And I have tried to speak calmly to my kids. I can do that easily now because the only one that sometimes is not in control of himself at least would not steal from me and he does love me....in younger years I was not so patient with him or my daughter who used to use drugs. The lungs got exercise back then.

Your daughter is very challenging. I think you're doing the very best you can. Or anyone could.

As for who is in charge of your medical decisions, I hear you. We picked our most empathetic child for that and she also lives close. You have to look for somebody responsible and empathetic and before you get sick, which hopefully will not happen for a long time, make sure that your will is airtight, exactly how you want it and don't let her see it or know where it is. One of your nieces sound great! Maybe if you need long term hospitalization, you should plan to go near them if your husband is gone. Yuk, I hate thinking about this.
Morbid!

You have your head on straight. I am honestly so sorry that your daughter can not be trusted.

My biggest wish is to become a grandmother but honestly I do not want my daughter to have a baby in the mess she is in right now with that mess she is with. I wrote before that she had a miscarriage and that baby was due last Dec. I was very grieved over the loss and also I felt a relief because I knew I would be worried about that little one 24\7.
I am so glad to hear you have a good relationship with you little ones and their mom.

 

[newstart]

You are too hard on yourself, dear. We all lose it and the worse they do the louder we roar. And I have tried to speak calmly to my kids. I can do that easily now because the only one that sometimes is not in control of himself at least would not steal from me and he does love me....in younger years I was not so patient with him or my daughter who used to use drugs. The lungs got exercise back then.

Your daughter is very challenging. I think you're doing the very best you can. Or anyone could.

As for who is in charge of your medical decisions, I hear you. We picked our most empathetic child for that and she also lives close. You have to look for somebody responsible and empathetic and before you get sick, which hopefully will not happen for a long time, make sure that your will is airtight, exactly how you want it and don't let her see it or know where it is. One of your nieces sound great! Maybe if you need long term hospitalization, you should plan to go near them if your husband is gone. Yuk, I hate thinking about this.
Morbid!

You have your head on straight. I am honestly so sorry that your daughter can not be trusted.

SWOT, SO glad to hear you have a trusted child for your care later on. I bet that feels great. I too have thought about moving closer to my niece, she lives way up north and I live way down south, not sure I can take the winters. Lots to think about.

 

[newstart]

I see my replys jumped around, sorry about that I am still new, grieved and learning my way around this site. Thank you all for your compassion and care.