hardest day as a parent ever

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amazeofgrace, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I checked difficult child II (15) into a long term residential program today. It was needed and a long time coming, but that didn't make it any easier. What made it harder was when he asked to call his dad before we went in and his Dad answered the call drunk..... difficult child II was devastated and my heart, which was already broken, just shattered into dust for this poor kid. I hate my X, he literally just got out of rehab #7, 3 weeks ago and already is off the wagon.... I know it's a disease but my X is the most self centered narcisitic man I know! Can't call his sons but can call me and try and manipulate me back into his life (which aint working for the record)

    Please pray for difficult child II, he's a soft hearted kid, not rough and tough like difficult child I, I worry about him, I am beside myself right now, feeling guilty for feeling relief form all the stress but terrified for his safety.

    One day at a time.... AOG
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    difficult child 2 is where he needs to be because he has a great mom. Hopefully they can help him deal with his not-so-great dad. Maybe as he gets higher in his levels, they can take him to Alanon meetings???

    Try and do something nice for yourself every day this week (even if it is just a bubble bath), recharge your batteries so that you will have the energy needed to keep supporting your difficult children.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    of course! such a heartbreak.... thinking of you
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    AOG-Sending gentle hugs and prayers your way. I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling right now but I do know that you are doing the right thing. Please take care of you now.
  5. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    ((hugs)) .... he's where he needs to be. I agree with others - take care of YOU and do something really nice for yourself.
  6. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Hugs. You are a great mom for helping him receive the help he needs.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and prayers, AOG.
  8. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm sorry your X is an "bleep". Big {hugs} for you and thoughts for your difficult child. I know it must have been really hard for you today. You will make it through this and come out on the other side.
  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you everyone, I know I have not been on boards as much as I used to be, although I find I rec them to other frazzled parents I meet all the time, it truly is a safe place to land.....
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you are in such parent-pain amazeofgrace, you made a difficult but necessary choice and I understand that even though it's the right thing to do, it doesn't feel good. I know how that feels too. Please take good care of YOU now, as others have said, do something nice for yourself, focus on yourself. Prayers and hugs to you with all our cyber arms enfolding you in our collective maternal compassion.
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    You did the right thing -- sometimes the right thing for our kids hurts us the most. Lots of hugs your way.

  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm positive you analyzed every possibility and reached your decision in hopes of a better future. I'll be hoping and praying that the placement is able to get him on track for a happier and more productive life. Hugs. DDD
  13. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    You have placed your son where he needs to be. Don't feel guilty for feeling relief. I know that this was a hard decision, but it was necessary. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry that your X answered your son's call the way he did. Reading what you wrote made my heart break for him.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, I am so sorry. Clearly he needs to be there, both from your other posts, and the fact that they wouldn't have admitted him.

    I am so sorry about your @*$*^%@&@!&* ex. OMG, how very sad for your difficult child. Devastating. I know you are disgusted as well.
    Many many hugs. I hope you can find some peace and make some plans while difficult child is in residential.
  15. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    this evening the hysterical sobbing ensued.... talked to difficult child II and he said "wow the kids are really violent here...." just what I wanted to hear.... Sadly I don't recall being half as frantic when difficult child I was in Juvie or county, probably because difficult child I is the kid the other kids are afraid of and difficult child II is the complete opposite, he's not a fighter... sigh..... may be a xanax night...
  16. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    (((hugs))) :(
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh bless his heart. Is there a staff person there who is a "go to" for him esp. as he adjusts? Does he have a room-mate or do they have their own rooms? I hope he can find someone to hang out with. You said this is long term... meaning months or years??? Or do you not know yet?
  18. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    take the xanax, and hugs. My difficult child was in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) from 11/7/11 to 1/12/12. It was the hardest thing I ever did, especially as it was 4hrs from me. Many times I drove home crying. My difficult child would tell me about the girl that raged at night, and the kids that got put in holds. It was hard, but he is soooo much better for it. I think as parents? If we are in tune with our kiddos we instinctually know which one is the most vulnerable, and for me? That is difficult child. Maybe for you? It is your difficult child II
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh ... I am so sorry. Maybe he'll learn something by watching them? Just a thought.
    I would definitely take Xanax if I were you.
    Many hugs.
  20. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    More prayers and hugs.