hardest day as a parent ever

[amazeofgrace]

I checked difficult child II (15) into a long term residential program today. It was needed and a long time coming, but that didn't make it any easier. What made it harder was when he asked to call his dad before we went in and his Dad answered the call drunk..... difficult child II was devastated and my heart, which was already broken, just shattered into dust for this poor kid. I hate my X, he literally just got out of rehab #7, 3 weeks ago and already is off the wagon.... I know it's a disease but my X is the most self centered narcisitic man I know! Can't call his sons but can call me and try and manipulate me back into his life (which aint working for the record)

Please pray for difficult child II, he's a soft hearted kid, not rough and tough like difficult child I, I worry about him, I am beside myself right now, feeling guilty for feeling relief form all the stress but terrified for his safety.

One day at a time.... AOG

 

[JJJ]

(((Hugs)))

difficult child 2 is where he needs to be because he has a great mom. Hopefully they can help him deal with his not-so-great dad. Maybe as he gets higher in his levels, they can take him to Alanon meetings???

Try and do something nice for yourself every day this week (even if it is just a bubble bath), recharge your batteries so that you will have the energy needed to keep supporting your difficult children.

 

[buddy]

of course! such a heartbreak.... thinking of you

 

[Wiped Out]

AOG-Sending gentle hugs and prayers your way. I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling right now but I do know that you are doing the right thing. Please take care of you now.

 

[cubsgirl]

((hugs)) .... he's where he needs to be. I agree with others - take care of YOU and do something really nice for yourself.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Hugs. You are a great mom for helping him receive the help he needs.

 

[KTMom91]

Sending hugs and prayers, AOG.

 

[Tiapet]

I'm sorry your X is an "bleep". Big {hugs} for you and thoughts for your difficult child. I know it must have been really hard for you today. You will make it through this and come out on the other side.

 

[amazeofgrace]

thank you everyone, I know I have not been on boards as much as I used to be, although I find I rec them to other frazzled parents I meet all the time, it truly is a safe place to land.....

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm sorry you are in such parent-pain amazeofgrace, you made a difficult but necessary choice and I understand that even though it's the right thing to do, it doesn't feel good. I know how that feels too. Please take good care of YOU now, as others have said, do something nice for yourself, focus on yourself. Prayers and hugs to you with all our cyber arms enfolding you in our collective maternal compassion.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Amazed,

You did the right thing -- sometimes the right thing for our kids hurts us the most. Lots of hugs your way.

Sharon

 

[DDD]

I'm positive you analyzed every possibility and reached your decision in hopes of a better future. I'll be hoping and praying that the placement is able to get him on track for a happier and more productive life. Hugs. DDD

 

[Bunny]

You have placed your son where he needs to be. Don't feel guilty for feeling relief. I know that this was a hard decision, but it was necessary. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry that your X answered your son's call the way he did. Reading what you wrote made my heart break for him.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, I am so sorry. Clearly he needs to be there, both from your other posts, and the fact that they wouldn't have admitted him.

I am so sorry about your @*$*^%@&@!&* ex. OMG, how very sad for your difficult child. Devastating. I know you are disgusted as well.
Many many hugs. I hope you can find some peace and make some plans while difficult child is in residential.

 

[amazeofgrace]

this evening the hysterical sobbing ensued.... talked to difficult child II and he said "wow the kids are really violent here...." just what I wanted to hear.... Sadly I don't recall being half as frantic when difficult child I was in Juvie or county, probably because difficult child I is the kid the other kids are afraid of and difficult child II is the complete opposite, he's not a fighter... sigh..... may be a xanax night...

 

[tiredmommy]

(((hugs)))

 

[buddy]

this evening the hysterical sobbing ensued.... talked to difficult child II and he said "wow the kids are really violent here...." just what I wanted to hear.... Sadly I don't recall being half as frantic when difficult child I was in Juvie or county, probably because difficult child I is the kid the other kids are afraid of and difficult child II is the complete opposite, he's not a fighter... sigh..... may be a xanax night...

Oh bless his heart. Is there a staff person there who is a "go to" for him esp. as he adjusts? Does he have a room-mate or do they have their own rooms? I hope he can find someone to hang out with. You said this is long term... meaning months or years??? Or do you not know yet?

 

[crazymama30]

take the xanax, and hugs. My difficult child was in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) from 11/7/11 to 1/12/12. It was the hardest thing I ever did, especially as it was 4hrs from me. Many times I drove home crying. My difficult child would tell me about the girl that raged at night, and the kids that got put in holds. It was hard, but he is soooo much better for it. I think as parents? If we are in tune with our kiddos we instinctually know which one is the most vulnerable, and for me? That is difficult child. Maybe for you? It is your difficult child II

 

[TerryJ2]

Ohhh ... I am so sorry. Maybe he'll learn something by watching them? Just a thought.
I would definitely take Xanax if I were you.
Many hugs.

 

[Wiped Out]

More prayers and hugs.