So it's not okay for a custodial parent to need a break, but it is okay for a noncustodial parent to refuse visitation because the child is difficult?
rm1976, that is not even implied In Witz comment. CB's ex will either see the kids or not, what he chooses to do and the reason behind it is on him.
Parents of special needs kids, any special needs kids be it mental or physical or emotional, need a break once in a while. I never got one unless I was in hospital deathly ill.......and in my opinion that just didn't count. lol Oh, wait, I need to retract that, there were a couple of summers my Mom came and got the kids for 2 wks. And I did treasure those two weeks of peace and quiet. BUT Witz has a valid point. If you're pushing the visitation and your ex is really not that interested in seeing the kids for whatever reason he has, the kids will know. It will not only hurt them (because in kid logic they're being shoved off onto someone else......kid logic is not the same as adult logic) but will make them angry. Then you can easily find yourself with a whole other boatload of issues to deal with that really aren't worth that weekend break.
I don't buy into most of the garbage they like to say about kids of divorce parents. I think most of it is just a lot of excuses for poor behavior. Because my mom went through husbands the way other people go through tissues, and really none of us had any of the so called "divorced kid" issues.........difficult child issues, yes, but not that. But trying to force or convince a non custodial parent to visit with a child builds resentment faster than anything else, and that resentment is directed at both parents. It doesn't even matter if you're doing it trying to keep their relationships close. Kids pick up on such things fast. For the kid, it's like being slapped in the face repeatedly with the fact the other parent really doesn't want you around. If the custodial parent is doing it for a "break", then it's a double whammy for the kid. I know, been there done that as the kid and it blows major.
Any cousins they're close in age and like to hang around.......take turns having sleep overs. What about a sleep over or just an evening at the grandparents house? Hire a sitter for an hour or two and go catch a movie, lunch, some fun shopping (even if it's window shopping) Go take a long walk. Lock yourself in the bedroom with a good book for a couple of hours. I had 2 wks a year for a couple of years out of all the years the kids were growing up. To top it off Fred worked 2nd shift so I got them all by myself too. So I did the walk thing. I did the book thing. Shoot, there were times I just sat in the bathroom for 20 mins with the door closed.
It does hoover that all the responsibility part has fallen onto your shoulders while ex gets to go do as he darn well pleases with his new life. Sadly, for most people with exes, this is reality. Dads have a tendency for "out of sight out of mind" syndrome.......I call it........when once the family has split, he either is too busy with the single scene or once he remarries he's too busy with his new life to bother. Some even take it to such extreme they drop out of the childrens lives completely. Not all dads, but a good portion of them do this to some degree.
Focusing on your life with your kids, and finding ways to cope and get breaks for yourself is all you can do.