Exhausted74
New Member
Hello Everyone! Just as many of the others here have found your forums for similar reasons, so have I. Short intro about us:
We have 4 difficult child. The 2 oldest had normal happy childhoods, now we are in our teenage years with them, and its going good so far. Minor hiccups here and there, but overall good. 3rd difficult child- I knew when he was 8 mos. old that he was "different" than the others. He never slept, cried constantly, seperation anxiety to the max!,defiant,aggressive etc.. 4th difficult child-happy, thinks shes a princess, overall good kid.
3rd difficult child problems started at about 8 months. Dr. pushed them off as "terrible twos".. well, the terrible twos have lasted 8 yrs and have gotten progressively worse for the past 9 or so years!
Started kindergarden, teacher stated he was very inattentive,disruptive. 1st grade- was the same. However, the 1st grade teacher set up an IEP for him and he did pretty well with the IEP/ADHD medications. 2nd grade- is where all hell starts to break loose. medications were changed, he started to become VERY defiant, failing school,aggressive to his older brother. 3rd grade he simmered down a bit, still had issues but nothing like 2nd grade.
Last year was 4th grade and I got a call at least 4 times a week from the school. He was fighting, swearing,.. meanwhile-they knew he had problems and yet, NOBODY at the school even brought of the idea of an IEP. It was " youre not giving him his medications, or youre not doing this or that" at that point I took him to a new psychatrist, who he is still seeing. Its a bit shy of 1 year, but.. he put him on abilify and lowered the adderall xr from 10mg to 5mg. he did WONDERFUL the last 2 months of 4th grade and over the entire summer, minor arguements here and there but no major problems like in school.
We are now in the 1st week of 5th grade and hes coming home happy, doing his homework without being cued to do it,making sure he stays organized all by himself. We were SO proud of him!
2nd week of school, BAM! suspension for 3 days for fighting. Another child who had been harassing my difficult child since kindergarden. This other child has the same type of problems as my son. So, they butt heads all the time. From waht I was told, this other kid was talking smack to my difficult child and my difficult child decided to haul off and punch him in the nose.. almost broke his nose. so my difficult child is suspended for 3 days...
Then the next week, my difficult child and a few other kids were indoors for recess..and they all had sharpie markers..(why they had them, i still wasnt told)-but they "pretended to write on my difficult child's back of his shirt"- so he actually wrote on their shirt.. well phone call again - hes on 5 days of detention...
That friday (last day of detention) I get another call.. I almost didnt want to even answer the phone when i saw the caller id.. I cringe, I get chest pains and answer , " ok.. what did he do now?" before the principal even starts to talk.
Here, my difficult child and another kid were "play fighting" and my difficult child took it too far and punched the other kid in the eye, resulting in a black eye. Principal tells me - this is the last time, next incident is expulsion! Well, now im Irrate because I want to know why there are noon monitors on the palyground at recess when they obviously know there are issues and they are doing NOTHING. My husband and I asked for a solution that our difficult child would be able to go to recess with the other class/ or we would even come up to the school to watch him, or take him home for the 45 min of lunch/recess, but those options were not even taken seriously. My serious problem is that whenever "my difficult child" is involved with a fight.. they NEVER see what happened b4 a fight starts. Their exact words for the last 2 times have been "We only saw/heard what difficult child did, nothing leading up to that." I know for a fact that the first fight was egged on by that boy and he addmitted to it, but resulted in no suspension,detention etc.. but my difficult child , they made sure he paid the consequences...
Im so sick and tired of that school. Hes on suspension right now, and honestly I dont want to even send him back on Monday. I wrote a request for an IEP and had my husband hand deliver it to the principal, his teacher yesterday. When I asked for it at the end of the school year last year, they said they would look into it.. well HELLO? i think the 1st incident should have told u something!!
Principal called me today and "thanked me" for the "wonderful" IEP request I wrote her.. lmao, could she of gotten any more sarcastic?
So, we again are at wits end..completely frustrated and exhausted mentally. It wasnt easy when he was a baby, or before he started school.. but this is a nightmare!
I told his advocate, psychologist and psychtrist that I dont want him to go back on monday. Even though hes following me all over the house and trying so hard to annoy me ( he doesnt know this, but its working!), I would rather deal with this than him going into the school and letting god only knows what happen to him, or another child..
GRRR
We have 4 difficult child. The 2 oldest had normal happy childhoods, now we are in our teenage years with them, and its going good so far. Minor hiccups here and there, but overall good. 3rd difficult child- I knew when he was 8 mos. old that he was "different" than the others. He never slept, cried constantly, seperation anxiety to the max!,defiant,aggressive etc.. 4th difficult child-happy, thinks shes a princess, overall good kid.
3rd difficult child problems started at about 8 months. Dr. pushed them off as "terrible twos".. well, the terrible twos have lasted 8 yrs and have gotten progressively worse for the past 9 or so years!
Started kindergarden, teacher stated he was very inattentive,disruptive. 1st grade- was the same. However, the 1st grade teacher set up an IEP for him and he did pretty well with the IEP/ADHD medications. 2nd grade- is where all hell starts to break loose. medications were changed, he started to become VERY defiant, failing school,aggressive to his older brother. 3rd grade he simmered down a bit, still had issues but nothing like 2nd grade.
Last year was 4th grade and I got a call at least 4 times a week from the school. He was fighting, swearing,.. meanwhile-they knew he had problems and yet, NOBODY at the school even brought of the idea of an IEP. It was " youre not giving him his medications, or youre not doing this or that" at that point I took him to a new psychatrist, who he is still seeing. Its a bit shy of 1 year, but.. he put him on abilify and lowered the adderall xr from 10mg to 5mg. he did WONDERFUL the last 2 months of 4th grade and over the entire summer, minor arguements here and there but no major problems like in school.
We are now in the 1st week of 5th grade and hes coming home happy, doing his homework without being cued to do it,making sure he stays organized all by himself. We were SO proud of him!
2nd week of school, BAM! suspension for 3 days for fighting. Another child who had been harassing my difficult child since kindergarden. This other child has the same type of problems as my son. So, they butt heads all the time. From waht I was told, this other kid was talking smack to my difficult child and my difficult child decided to haul off and punch him in the nose.. almost broke his nose. so my difficult child is suspended for 3 days...
Then the next week, my difficult child and a few other kids were indoors for recess..and they all had sharpie markers..(why they had them, i still wasnt told)-but they "pretended to write on my difficult child's back of his shirt"- so he actually wrote on their shirt.. well phone call again - hes on 5 days of detention...
That friday (last day of detention) I get another call.. I almost didnt want to even answer the phone when i saw the caller id.. I cringe, I get chest pains and answer , " ok.. what did he do now?" before the principal even starts to talk.
Here, my difficult child and another kid were "play fighting" and my difficult child took it too far and punched the other kid in the eye, resulting in a black eye. Principal tells me - this is the last time, next incident is expulsion! Well, now im Irrate because I want to know why there are noon monitors on the palyground at recess when they obviously know there are issues and they are doing NOTHING. My husband and I asked for a solution that our difficult child would be able to go to recess with the other class/ or we would even come up to the school to watch him, or take him home for the 45 min of lunch/recess, but those options were not even taken seriously. My serious problem is that whenever "my difficult child" is involved with a fight.. they NEVER see what happened b4 a fight starts. Their exact words for the last 2 times have been "We only saw/heard what difficult child did, nothing leading up to that." I know for a fact that the first fight was egged on by that boy and he addmitted to it, but resulted in no suspension,detention etc.. but my difficult child , they made sure he paid the consequences...
Im so sick and tired of that school. Hes on suspension right now, and honestly I dont want to even send him back on Monday. I wrote a request for an IEP and had my husband hand deliver it to the principal, his teacher yesterday. When I asked for it at the end of the school year last year, they said they would look into it.. well HELLO? i think the 1st incident should have told u something!!
Principal called me today and "thanked me" for the "wonderful" IEP request I wrote her.. lmao, could she of gotten any more sarcastic?
So, we again are at wits end..completely frustrated and exhausted mentally. It wasnt easy when he was a baby, or before he started school.. but this is a nightmare!
I told his advocate, psychologist and psychtrist that I dont want him to go back on monday. Even though hes following me all over the house and trying so hard to annoy me ( he doesnt know this, but its working!), I would rather deal with this than him going into the school and letting god only knows what happen to him, or another child..
GRRR