Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dara, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I dont know what to do. husband was just diagnosed with early MS. He is doing terribly. He is so dizzy and nauseous he cant get out of bed. Sammy is freaked out. When he gets freaked out, he has rages. I dont know how to explain this to him. We are all scared and dont really know what is going on. husband has his appointment with thie MS dr on monday. We will know a little more then but I dont know how to make Sammy feel ok about everything because it is very scary to see Daddy like this.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Dara, I'm really sorry about your husband's diagnosis. On Monday, I hope the MS doctor will give husband a plan to treat and cope with the illness. Until you have some concrete answers, it's really difficult to know exactly what you and husband should be doing.

    I know you like Sammy's new neuro. Can you call him Monday and ask how you should handle this situation? Getting professionals involved in a challenging family situation can really help.

  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Dara: my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Let Sammy enjoy his weekend. Don't get too caught up with what's going on with husband until there are some definative answers.

    I can't remember if Sammy is seeing a counselor, but if he is, see if you can schedule an appointment to discuss it with him. I googled "telling a 5 year old that you have multiple schlerosis and came across the following link - ironically, the examples surround telling a 5 year old boy!

    We're here for you honey, feel free to blow off some steam!

    Big hugs!

  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh Dara, I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you. I hope Sammy can be helped to deal with this.
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    The visit to the MS doctor should help, there are some treatments that can help with the symptoms and to slow the progression.

    Hugs, and I would encourage you to talk to Sammy's doctor about how to help him cope, they may have some good ideas.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Gosh! Poor you, husband, and Sammy! This is horrible!
    I do know that there are many cutting edge treatments available now for MS, so do not panic yet. This is just temporary until he can get the proper treatment.

    For this weekend, I wonder if just keeping Sammy really distracted would help. Maybe taking him to the movies, or to places he likes to go outside of the house? Or maybe husband could spend the weekend with his parents or friends where he can get the rest he needs, and Sammy would not need to see his dad in that kind of position? Also, I would think a trip to the library and getting some books on parents who are sick would be a good thing to be reading to him, and maybe videos as well about that subject.

    Sending many prayers, hugs, and strength your way. So, so sorry...........
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to hear of husband's diagnosis and that Sammy is having such a hard time. Saying a prayer and sending gentle hugs your way.
  8. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Thank you all for all of your support. I think this just might be the icing on the cake. Quite honestly, this is very scary. I try to be upbeat and fun while all this is going on but I really feel so helpless. I have no idea what to do to help! husband is really in bad shape. We literally got the D on thursday and he had been feeling bad but on friday he spiraled downward. It is shocking and terrifying. The problem with Sammy is that he doesnt know how to express his fears so they come out in violent rage and unfortunately for me, I am the lucky target of violence. I am calling his pediatrician on monday and talking to his therapist on monday as well to see if we can figure out a plan to help him with this. Part of the problem is that Daddy carries him a lot. Right now, Daddy cant, it is too dangerous. Sammy is having a very hard time with little things like that. I am calling a therapist for me on tuesday. I need help and DHs family who lives literally down the road, are not supportive and are going to be no help for us at all....
  9. Cory

    Cory New Member

    I work with a teacher who has had MS for well over 20 years and she still works full time. She has her share of bad days at times, but overall is doing very well. Your hubby will need a good neurologist who is experienced in treating MS. There really are miraculous treatments out there so try to stay calm. He will get better! I don't have MS but I do have other autoimmune diseases. The beginning is always the worst.

    I know this is hard on little Sammy but he is likely picking up on your fear, too, which is quite understandable. Your plans to contact his therapist is a wonderful idea and in the meantime try to be strong and have faith.

    You will be in my thoughts.
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I'm so sorry Dara.

    My mom has MS. Hers is not progressive, it is acute. It gets good, bad, good, bad. It is a miserable thing to have. I am so sorry for your husband.

    Poor Sammy, I'm sure he cannot completely even understand what is going on with Daddy, much less express his feelings about it. I hope you get help real soon from his therapist.

    Hugs and prayers.
  11. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Is Sammy freaked out because your husband is spending his time in bed instead of out among the rest of the house? Or is it because his dad isn't carrying him around? If it's about the carrying, I know it's hard now but it could be the answer you've been needing to get Sammy to walk when he's with you.

    I'm sorry to hear about this, Dara.
  12. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Sammy is freaked out because of all of it really. He is freaked out because things are not "normal". Daddy isnt moving well when he is out of bed. Daddy cant dance with him like he normally does. Daddy is in bed alot this weekend. Sammy keeps saying to husband "You feel better? You not sick?" It is quite unnerving for me to see husband like this so I cant imagine how it is for Sammy! I have taken Sammy out both yesterday and today and some special fun time which he enjoys but has had vioent rages on and ff all day long both days. All I can really do for him is give him tons of love and when Daddy isnt in bed and debilitated from this, he can give lots of love. It is just hard for all of us. We are just trying to figure everything out! husband was literally diagnosed on thursday so it is very new to us!
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending my support, too. Perhaps your husband is reacting to the news
    as he tries to get a handle on it. I've been very lucky with my family but I have experienced the stages of grief when blindsided by bad news.
    Crossing body parts that tomorrow is better. DDD
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911


    It's never easy on anyone in a situation like your husband's. It helped us to work with a family therapist and without that I'm not sure we (each individually) would have an understanding for how disabled disabled really is.

    Hope your doctor find some solutions for you - sometimes the best thing to do is nothing until you know what you CAN do.