He's at it again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    easy child was doing the laundry and pulled out difficult child's boxers with-her panties wrapped around them. She also found another pr of panties of unknown origin.
    She's in tears, disgusted, and angry. We thought we had this problem solved.
    Not even close. difficult child is so Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) I don't know if he'll ever give it up.
    I've taken away his PS2 privilege and he's moping on the couch right now.

    easy child is packing, to spend the night at a friend's house. She just wants to get the h*ll out of here. Can't say I blame her.

    I called our child psychiatric and they are booked but will call if there is an opening. Right now, easy child has an appointment at 8 a.m. tomorrow. She needs coping skills.

    difficult child and I have a standing appointment once a mo and we'll just keep that one. It's next wk.

    Mean Mom that I am, they are still going to have to take down all the Christmas decorations today.

    We were doing so well for a while there ...
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry, Terry. It looks like he's got an ongoing issue about this.
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    Terry all I can say is that you *are* addressing this. It may take a while to work through these issues. It must be very frustrating. I'm sorry easy child has to go through this. I'm sorry you do too. Hang in there, ML
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    easy child found another pr. So I went into difficult child's dresser and yanked things off the shelves. He had a slew of (ewwwwsmelly) panties hiding in there.
    They're in the laundry now. I showed them to difficult child and he lied, of course.
    He's going to have an empty dresser.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What does he therapist say about this? Is he working with difficult child at all about it or does difficult child refuse to discuss it with him/her?
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    He pretty much refuses to discuss it, but since our regular therapist is so behavior oriented, this may be a good task for him to work on. We'll have to ignore the "why," or cause, for the moment, and just teach difficult child that it is unacceptable and that he's got to change his behavior. Period.
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hi Terry--

    Is he sneaking his sister's undies out of the laundry or out of her bedroom? Is it possible to put locks on those doors? Regardless of the overtones--I think that easy child should have a right to privacy. Her brother shouldn't be taking anything that belongs to her. Period.

  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Why won't the doctor discuss this? It seems to be a valid issue for difficult child and the doctor should address it as you are. I could see the doctor not making a big deal of this if this was an isolated incident but it isn't. Your poor daughter!!! Glad she is seeking help to cope.

    Hang in there. I hope this gets better for you soon. :)
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I know. We've gone over and over it.
    I hired someone to put a lock on her door, but she's in an old section of the house that was built in 1932, and the door frame is very narrow, so we'd have to reframe the whole thing. We tried to widen the area around the plate, but it didn't work.
    She's just counting the days b4 she leaves for school.

    After she's gone, I may consider completely redoing her room and my office--IOW, trading. I've got a nice electric heater in here, and walk-in closet, which would be perfect for her uses.
    She's got the coldest room in the house, next to a storage area that was never insulated. It would be perfect to store seasonal clothing, gift wrapping, business files and that sort of thing. I love the cold.
    We use a window AC in her rm to supplement the central AC.

    Wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all happen now. But we just got the Christmas decorations down today and we're still boxing them up ...
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2009
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Terry, did difficult child ever try one of the SSRI's? Paxil is supposed to be helpful for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I just wonder if that would help. No amount of therapy is going to stop this cold if he has a neurochemical basis to this problem. I realize he has a mood disorder diagnosis, but apparently that isn't all that's going on here. Does he see a Pdoctor?
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Bran, it isn't the dr who won't discuss it, it's difficult child. He just stonewalls.
    We can only "peel the onion" through the first cpl layers. He won't ever explain the real reason. Then again, maybe he doesn't know. Or at least, how to put it into words.

    Yes, we tried Zoloft and difficult child got headaches and couldn"t sleep
    I will ask her when we see her again in a cpl wks.

    I don't understand why she won't talk to difficult child about anything in depth. I don't know if it's because she doesn't want to step on the child psychologist's toes, or because she doesn't want difficult child to get burned out.

    Yes, she's got an accent, too. Sigh.
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2009
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    aRRGH, my keyboard is messed up. When I said we will ask her, I meant the child psychiatrist. She is only interested in being the official medication coordinator and doesn't seem to want to do in-depth therapy.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry to hear you are still dealing with this. I hope the t-doctor can help. Hugs.
  14. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Terry, difficult child 2 did the same thing. I found my own undies (gag) and a bunch of young girls' panties in his laundry. I also found my clean sanitary napkins in his closet and some tampax ( I never used tampons). I brought this problem to the MSW many times. He never took it seriously, said girls throw tampons at boys in school and boys throw condoms. I could not get him to listen to my concerns. The fact that I am an older, foreign raised mom seemed to be the problem in his dealing with the situation. I'm still mad as H***!
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    All I can suggest is to keep raising cane with ALL of his care providers until SOMEBODY wakes up and takes this seriously. This simply is intolerable, and they obviously don't get that. If they STILL futz around with this issue, I'd go to plan B and find a new therapist and/or psychiatrist.
  16. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    so sorry---I know how much you've worked to get him to stop....
  17. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Paxil is not recommended for children EVER (has a higher incidence of disinhibition and suicidal ideation than the other SSRIs). The SSRIs Prozac, Luvox and Zoloft as well as the tricyclic antidepressant Anafranil are FDA approved for the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in children.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Luvox is very closely related to Prozac, and has been extremely effective in helping Wiz deal with his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

    Just FYI. I hope you find a way to help stop this obsession your difficult child has.

    I also hope you can help easy child feel less violated in her own home.

    Gentle hugs,

  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I will check into that.

    ThreeShadows, it looks like your difficult child is married with-kids. So, do you have any idea if he outgrew that habit?
  20. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I don't know how isolated easy child's room is from the common living areas, if it is close, you could hang bells or any noisemaking things on the inside of her door just to know when it is opened. I've put paper in a door so I know if it has been opened(they don't put it back the exact way) but that just tells you it was opened not when...of course Major could get passed that if he was determined, and I imagine your difficult child as well.