Hi~ new here and at my wits end with the school suspensions!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rebelg, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    Hi everyone saw this site last night while trying to do some research on my son, I thought it might be good cause everyone I know tells me "Sorry they don't have any advise, never had these problems with any of their kids" Just want to sit on the couch and cry this week Really wish I had some people to talk to who have had these problems and have some ideas for me or at least can relate....

    Son suspended from school AGAIN yesterday, couldn't even begin to tell you how many times this has been and that's just counting this year! Does anyone else feel this Immense pressure when your child is not behaving at school all the time and nothing you try works??? I guess I should give some history on him huh... well lets see problems started right away in Kinder diagnoised with ADHD, now looking back I think that was given just cause that's what is older sis has, had problem after problem the next 3 years with every medication we tried and him not wanting to take them. Finally stopped all medication's last year the end of 2nd grade and has been medication free sense, started behavior therepy in Sept. really like the therapist but this just gives idea's on how to help him and nothing we do seeems to help with the school behavior. Has gone to 3 different schools now suspensions at all, kicked out of 1. Feeling very helpless!!! and not to mention stressed. Can anyone here relate?
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Wow, it sounds like you have been given almost no help.

    Does your son have an IEP at school?
  3. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    nope no IEP, they did tell me when he started at behavior therepy that they didn't think he ever had ADHD they think he has ODD.
  4. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    Nope, no IEP I forgot to say that when we started going to the behavior therepist they told us they think he was misdiagnosed and that they think he has ODD and not ADHD
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    My strongest suggestion is to send the school a certified, return receipt letter stating that he has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and that you believe that it is having a negative educational impact. (include any other concerns that you have - Learning Disability (LD), etc) There are some great examples in the Special Education archives on this board.

    The school is not providing him with a FAPE.

    Have you ever informed the school about his diagnosis?

    How many days has he been suspended for this year? for what reasons?
    How about last year?
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh, and many people (myself included) believe that ODD is a temporary diagnosis while the doctor figures out why he is having trouble.

    Two book suggestions:

    The Explosive Child

    Lost At School
  7. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    I think all of us here can relate. What kinds of behaviors are leading to your son's suspensions? Does he have similar behaviors at home?

    What kind of doctor diagnosed your son? Have you ever tried to get an IEP from your school? It does seem that since the issues/suspensions are ongoing, you really need more help from the school. If you check out the Special Eductation thread, there is info on how to request an evaluation by the school district.
  8. dadside

    dadside New Member

    Welcome. You'll get lots of support and good advice from many here.

    It is clear that your son has some kind of emotional disturbance and that it is interfering with his ability to learn. Those are the two basic criteria tfor him to receive an IEP. That IEP should cover a number of issues, including how the school should deal with the behavior problems. Having an IEP in place (and actually, just starting the process with a written request for evaluation) will limit the suspensions, particularly as they result from manifestations of his disability.

    I'd suggest weiting to his school principal requesting evaluation for an IEP, and getting a good diagnosis from a qualified professional (not just they think he has ...). In the Special Education. section of the forum you should be able to find more info. on the letter (and whole process), or you can send me a private messagefor more info.
  9. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    I have heard that a child can not be out of school for suspensions more than 10 days of the school year, but does that count in two different school districts in the same year? He was suspended from school all for fighting, pushing, ruff housing, causing a threat to other students and recently cursing and stealing at the new school. The new school was a blessing when we first started there, they have a program called walking club where the children that can't control themselves/Impulses at recess (which mine definatly does) walk with a teacher during recess so they are constently supervised, I thought this was a miracle no one had thought of this yet I felt like crying I was so happy. This lasted 2 months, (aside from 1 incident that he was not suspended for) it was awsome I thought we were finally making some progress although my son was coming home everyday telling me "he didn't have friends at this new school and the kids were meaner, the kids curse all the time mom and no one wants to be my friend they all make fun of me" I was worried but I was happy too! finally he was going to a school and I wasn't getting phone calls everyday to come pick him up.

    Well now we are back to getting the suspensions every week my SO thinks we need to try a medication again, I say what about those 2 months??? Why could he behave himself then but not now? He thinks he was nervous/scared at the new school and that altered his behavior. Any way I def. think he has some kind of social issue going on here it's just like certin things don't connect for him like they do other kids he has alot more problems in social settings, at home he is by no means perfect, I still see things that are just not normal but is most of the time very manageable for me. He is very Smart but the impulsivness causes a big issue too at home and a school! Lying, stealing and doing things he knows are against the rules are issues. If he wants it or wants to do it he figures out how to do it the minute a back is turned Impulsively, No matter what consequenses or rewards he has he doesn't really care. Nothing works taking toys away doesn't work, taking video games and tv away doesn't work, extra chores doesn't work, writing sentenses doesn't work, rewards don't work I don't know what else to try....

    We got a referral to a childrens pyscologist they did an intake and thats when they said they didn't think he had ADHD they thought he had ODD and started him on behavior therepy I think possibly because I said at that time I was tired of trying different medications. So he has Never actually seen a pyscolgist at all. The therepist says we need to break everything down for him so that he understand why the rules are there. I did notice a change immediatly in his face when I tried that the other day. I just can't take this pressure any more I dont' know what to do! Every year I keep hoping that he will get a little bit older and grow out of this but of course thats not happening, I recently have started to thinking about different issues like foods/allergies/enlarged adnoieds/sleep problems and the effects. Does anyone have an opinion on that??? I will try asking for a meeting with a pyscologist at the next meeting but how do pyscologists feel about these issues? Does anyone have any experience with this stuff?
  10. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    Oh and thank you so much for the info on the IEP I am going to look at that section now, I have read the explosive child but not the other I will look into that also.
  11. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Rebelg, I would suggest that you get a neuropsychologist done asap. They're calling it odd, but there could be some other things going on here. How does he do with friends? How's his eye contact with you vs. strangers? Is he an authority on any particular thing? Does he over react to different sounds, smells, textures (I call it "itchy tag syndrome"), etc?

    There are a number of things that could be going on here and a complete diagnosis. might give you a few different avenues to take.

    We're here for you!

  12. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    No he doesn't like to make eye contact, that is a constant issue I have with him I am always telling him "you need to look at people when they are talking to you T". also he doesn't like people "starring at him" is what he calls it especially when he's upset about something. He has mass issues with clothing and shoes although he does seem to be getting better about it, one medication he used to take made him really bad about it! His under wear have to be a size to big or he wont wear them his pant have to be loose but not too loose and shoes/socks same way. How do you go about getting a nuero evaluation? how does it work? and what does that look for?
  13. rebelg

    rebelg New Member

    Sorry I missed some questions He doesn't have alot of friends outside of family but when he is with kids in the family he does fine, except for one thing he likes to annoy people on purpose usually when bored or he will get together with the other boys and torment the girls but that is pretty typical of boys some times :) but at school he has a hard time he says he doesn't know how to make friends and everyone makes fun of him. It seems that some times he gets too wound up and can't seem to understand that some play is too ruff or some kids don't want u to play that way, when he thinks he is just playing around.