homeless mentally ill son who doesnt know he is

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by kpotter, Mar 31, 2019.

  1. kpotter

    kpotter New Member

    I posted wrong before I guess. Its too hard and draining to post it all again. I hope this is right, just looking for support. My son is in another state, and something happened in a sober living facility (violence?)that has set all this in motion. I get calls from him that make no sense (people are out to get him,if something happens to him it wasnt an accident) calls from people and police telling me hes wandered in to their business,walking down a freeway,gone into a hospital for a CT scan..etc. Waiting for the call that tells me hes dead.
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. Maybe attend an Al Anon group near you for support. It has helped me. Yes, I still worry, but have more (brief) times that I can let go of the weight of worry. Ksm
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    It can be so hard to be the parent of an adult child. I am sorry that you are enduring this. It sounds like he is seriously mentally ill. Sadly, in the US a person often has to go to jail to get mental health treatment. There are not places to commit people to, and it is super hard to commit them for help even if you could find a place. He sounds really ill. Know that you are safe here, and that we truly understand the pain and trauma you are going through.
  4. Exhaustedat22

    Exhaustedat22 New Member

  5. Exhaustedat22

    Exhaustedat22 New Member

    I'm having my 22 yr old son evicted in 10 days. I know he has mental health issues. I feel as if I'm throwing him away. I'm sick about this. He's been in the basement for days again, seems to go in cycles. When he does act somewhat normal, he's a thief, liar and just refuses to do anything to be productive, like work maybe. I'm at such a loss as what to do. I do know I can't continue to live this way, always on the edge, high alert as to what he'll take from me next. I can't be here to watch his every move, I have a job to go to.
    When I finally pull the trigger and have him physically removed, how am I going to feel? In a constant state of worry about his well being? Of course I am. Will I wonder when I hear a knock at the door if it's the police telling me the worse? Of course I will.
    You have my support. i wish I could see your original post to get more information.
  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Welcome! I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'Tourette's Syndrome heart wrenching to watch our adult children spiral out of control and there is nothing we can do.
    There are times when a diagnosis of mental illness is given that may not always be accurate. When drugs and alcohol are involved it's almost impossible for a correct diagnosis to be given.
    Your son's behavior could be from either or a combination of both. Regardless of what is causing him to act this way, it's so hard on a parent to watch.
    There are groups you can reach out to for yourself. Al-Anon and NAMI.
    The main thing to know is you are not alone. We are here for you and the above mentioned groups can help too.
    I used to be paralyzed by fear and what if's. I had to come to terms with it and face my fears head on. My worst fear was that my son could lay dead in a ditch and I would never know. Once I truly accepted that and that I had no control over it, I was able to let go and move on.
    We can't allow ourselves to live in fear of what may happen. Our lives are important and we need to take care of ourselves. I do hope you are taking care of yourself.

    Keep posting and let us know how things are going.