Q is just so very sweet. I am glad they always forgive him. It may be hard to see now, but knowing Q and going through these tough times and behaviors is actually good for your nieces and nephews. Odd, cause how can being around someone who swears, pushes and cannot behave appropriately actually be GOOD for someone? They are all learning patience and tolerance and generosity. These things will end up making them AMAZING people and parents. Isn't that wonderful?
Something you said might make it easier for you to discuss this challenge/problem with your sister. Does she have any self-awareness of her problems?
she just has no ability to think things thru before she acts. She responds to him as if he was her son and forgets that he really does not have the ability to do better at those times. She just really feels he has to "learn".
It sounds like Q isn't the only one who just really has to "learn".
This might help her gain insight into her behavior, problems and the toll this is taking on her nephew. If at all possible, call Q "your nephew" when you talk about this. Not "my son" or "Q", but put the belonging/possession/ownership onto her. Ask her, at a private time, to imagine when she was Q's age and what control she had. Also ask how she would have felt if your aunt had told Sister what sister told Q last night.
NOT wanting to psychologize, just to maybe help you help her see how her actions are hurting him and you know she does NOT mean to do that.
If saying this like this is out of anger/being upset in an angry way, I have a book selection. It has a definite Christian tone, and if you are not Christian then it mght be a problem. But the info s very ehlpful, in my opinion, or at least it was for me. "She's Gonna BLow: Real Help For Moms Dealing With Anger" by Julie Ann Barnhill was a big help to me. It helped me identify the physical signs that I was getting angry. Once I learned them then it was possible for me to work out how to identify them in the moment to stop or at least halt the mommy meltdown. It was one of the only books I had on anger that didn't just blah blah blah about being angry and having anger. It actually said that when you are angry, your body does this and that and the other. Before you are angry your body is doing this, the ohter, something else, and a tapdance. Once I figured out how my body felt when I was angry it was a miracle. I could see the signs and take a time out or whatever was needed at the time. Before the book? I exploded all over everyone and everywhere and the people in the tables all around us. It might be owrth suggesting or giving her a copy.
Here is an amazon search for the book:
Amazon.com: She's Gonna Blow!: Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger (9780736915526): Julie Ann Barnhill: Books It is on the kindle, and used is about $2 plus shipping from amazon marketplace. OF course check other sites/bookstores, if you are interested. I just thought it might be helpful.