Steely
Active Member
I am sorta flipping out over the next step in my life.
I have pretty much put difficult child on hold for the last 6 months. It started when I picked up my career again in Nov., after 3 years of staying home with him and homeschooling him. When he turned 16, I had pretty much had had it, and I went back to work, and set him up with GED classes. Then my sister unexpectedly and tragically died in Feb. I have done nothing since then except cope & try to be a manager in a new company. Meanwhile difficult child has morphed into a WOW zombie, and does nothing but sleep, play games, and eat.
I know I have to get back on track with difficult child, and so I have been quietly reminding him that GED classes start in June, again, and that he needs to be there. I know that this time has been hard not just for me, but for difficult child. His Aunt dies, his Mom goes back to work, and he is left to fend for himself. In addition bio-dad who had recently come back into his life after being gone for 12 years, has disappeared again.............and his grandpa has cancer. But yet, during all of this - the last 6 months - difficult child has been a gem in his behavior. So much so, that I kinda have ignored the fact that he is turning into a zombie, because, heck, there is peace. However, I know this is not the route for long term success.
So tonight, I started to lay down some limits. And he blew, like Mt Vesiuvius. As if he had been waiting all 6 months to call me every name in the book. All I could think about was how. How am I gonna do this now? How am I gonna move on with him, and my life, when I know the fire I am gonna have to endure?
All I can think about is my dad being sick, and my mom talking about "her & my dad's will, my only baby sister's will, my grandmothers will". All I can think about it is that my sister is gone, and will never be back, and we don't even know how she died. And my career, and how I need to do XYZ to be a good "new manager" and fly to Seattle soon. And difficult child, and how if I don't do something soon - he will be a lost - but yet, can I endure yet another difficult child saga? Another difficult child epic when I have SO many other things pressing on me?
I am seriously not sure how to proceed. I want to ignore difficult child and let him abscond into no man's land, it is just so much easier. Yet, I want him to be ultimately be successful, and happy, and I am doing him no favors by letting him morph into nothing. I just do not feel like I can endure the process. I feel like I might crack.
I hope I posted this in the right forum. If not, moderators, feel free to move me.
I have pretty much put difficult child on hold for the last 6 months. It started when I picked up my career again in Nov., after 3 years of staying home with him and homeschooling him. When he turned 16, I had pretty much had had it, and I went back to work, and set him up with GED classes. Then my sister unexpectedly and tragically died in Feb. I have done nothing since then except cope & try to be a manager in a new company. Meanwhile difficult child has morphed into a WOW zombie, and does nothing but sleep, play games, and eat.
I know I have to get back on track with difficult child, and so I have been quietly reminding him that GED classes start in June, again, and that he needs to be there. I know that this time has been hard not just for me, but for difficult child. His Aunt dies, his Mom goes back to work, and he is left to fend for himself. In addition bio-dad who had recently come back into his life after being gone for 12 years, has disappeared again.............and his grandpa has cancer. But yet, during all of this - the last 6 months - difficult child has been a gem in his behavior. So much so, that I kinda have ignored the fact that he is turning into a zombie, because, heck, there is peace. However, I know this is not the route for long term success.
So tonight, I started to lay down some limits. And he blew, like Mt Vesiuvius. As if he had been waiting all 6 months to call me every name in the book. All I could think about was how. How am I gonna do this now? How am I gonna move on with him, and my life, when I know the fire I am gonna have to endure?
All I can think about is my dad being sick, and my mom talking about "her & my dad's will, my only baby sister's will, my grandmothers will". All I can think about it is that my sister is gone, and will never be back, and we don't even know how she died. And my career, and how I need to do XYZ to be a good "new manager" and fly to Seattle soon. And difficult child, and how if I don't do something soon - he will be a lost - but yet, can I endure yet another difficult child saga? Another difficult child epic when I have SO many other things pressing on me?
I am seriously not sure how to proceed. I want to ignore difficult child and let him abscond into no man's land, it is just so much easier. Yet, I want him to be ultimately be successful, and happy, and I am doing him no favors by letting him morph into nothing. I just do not feel like I can endure the process. I feel like I might crack.
I hope I posted this in the right forum. If not, moderators, feel free to move me.