You would think that I would be used to a life like this by now after having been born to a difficult child mother (no contact with her for the past 16 yrs) and giving birth to a difficult child son 8 1/2 years ago. But no. I am not used to it since peace and tranquility happen to be the life style I personally thrive in. How do we all survive this? Does this kill some of us? Many days I just don't know how much more I can take. difficult child and his sister live with their father about 20-22 days out of the month so I do get lots of down time. I do get time by myself and time to recover. Still, the meltdowns, violence, yelling, lying, screaming, and the really hard work of trying to manage a difficult child by myself when he is here, is totally exhausting and depressing. I think that I am feeling worse than usual due to the e-mail I got from the ex earlier this week telling me that things have been really bad at his house (first time that he has ever admitted this) and that he has given difficult child until the end of the summer to straighten up or else he is sending him to a live-in facility. I had wanted to believe the fiction that difficult child's behavior was only bad at my house. Got the kids yesterday afternoon and difficult child was happy because he had won a bike for perfect attendance at school. He was hyper and manic as usual but I can deal with that pretty well. Not listening to me...I can deal with that pretty well too. Then he urinated on the floor on purpose. This has been a consistent issue I have with him at my house. Usually he does it in the bathroom and says that he just "missed the toilet." Last night he did it in the living room and said that he couldn't hold it. In 15 minutes the meltdown came. It was provoked by him feeling yet again that his sister gets preferential treatment. (But I could sense him winding up before this.) Actually, his sister was in the process of getting reprimanded by me but difficult child can never see reality when he is melting down....a huge violent one resulting in him shoving his sister into the pantry and hurting her. Another ruined night with the dogs hiding, both kids in their rooms, easy child in tears, and me with my guts in knot and heaviness in my heart. How do we all survive this?