How does easy child even stand a chance?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by maxeygirls, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. maxeygirls

    maxeygirls New Member

    Nights like these make me really worry. Dinner was spent with me restraining difficult child with one hand and my legs to avoid her hurting herself around the house, my other hand fed easy child and fed myself. At almost 10 months old, easy child has been feeding herself the same foods we eat for a couple months now but after a day where difficult child has been at her absolute best we're all tired.
    I sit there watching easy child's calm face as she studies difficult child screaming, biting and scratching in my arms and I have to ask myself, does my sweet little easy child stand a chance at having a normal life? We learn from the behavior we see, especially at an early age and I worry that easy child will pick up on the wrong behavior no matter how much we correct difficult child.
    I know my life will never be the same again but I'm a parent, this is my job. I chose this life regardless of what the future holds. But our PCs are born into this, especially when they are younger.
    We want more children, I know at the end of the day I could handle more kids, whether they ended up being difficult children or PCs but is it fair to the PCs? So much of this year with husband gone (not likely to happen again thanks to a program the military has, at least not until difficult child is much older) easy child has been forced to watch as I restrain difficult child from hurting herself and others. I worry that easy child will somehow resent us and difficult child later on.
    As much as we want more children I guess I have to ask those of you who have been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Does it seem like you made the right choice to have more children?
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    In my case, I didn't realize I had two difficult child's on my hands and that my spouse was a difficult child until after my easy child was born. And I thank God every day that she was born! If my difficult child's were spaced farther apart, I probably never would have had easy child. If my spouse hadn't been a difficult child, I probably would have been brave enough to try for a fourth child, even with the two difficult child's. But by the time easy child was born and approaching her first birthday, I was at the end of my proverbial rope and began to break down.

    For your situation, it might make things easier for now if you feed the kids separately. That way easy child is not exposed so much to difficult child's tantrums. At least until you get difficult child a little more stable. easy child likely won't remember much of these days. And if she's a easy child, she'll remain a easy child despite having an older difficult child sibling. She just may need some extra coping strategies as she gets older!
  3. maxeygirls

    maxeygirls New Member

    I wish I could feed them at different times but any time I try to feed easy child without difficult child I end up with a house that should be found unfit to live in, nevermind the howling and hissing from the tortured kitties.
    Despite all of difficult child's issues, the two girls are so close most of the time that it blows my mind. If I give one a bath without the other they want out of the tub as soon as I wash their hair, going to the store without one of them is like committing some terrible sin, difficult child will actually throw a 30 minute tantrum if she isn't allowed to help easy child pick out her hair ties for their daily matching pigtails. And they have to match.
    Hopefully once husband comes home and we adjust this will all get a little easier.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    She will cope. Jett is mostly easy child, still. He's just heading toward teen years and has BM for a part-time example... Plus what Onyxx has done in the past. So.

    Don't sweat it too much. The fact that difficult child loves easy child so much is GOOD.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    In my most humble opinion, every child is going to have at least one thing they have to learn to cope with during the growing up years. Life is just not perfect no matter how hard we attempt to make it that way.

    My easy child used to carry on about how much time my difficult children took from her concerning me. She delt with alot over the years growing up with 2 of them who were very different from each other. I know it wasn't easy for her. But she loved them and she accepted them for who they are. It made her stronger, in my opinion, than she would've been without them in her life. It made her more compassionate, more thankful for her own blessings, and to appreciate small things other people usually pay no attention to.

    As adults their relationships are very different. They are all close, I'm happy to say. They try to take care of each other, which is how it should be. The road was terribly long and hard to travel, but we eventually made it there. :)