how to deal with this?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jamieh, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    My son goes to vision therapy every monday. He doesn't like it because it is pretty difficult work. They do a lot of eye exercises that are hard for him to do because the muscles in his eyes are very weak. He also has really low muscle tone in his arms and legs so they do some exercises for that too. But he gets very difficult to deal with sometimes. The therapist does not really seem to believe in his ADHD or Asperger's. *eyeroll* She says that if his eyes were working properly he wouldn't have ADHD. :yapyapyapf: But this was recommended for him as an alternative for surgery. His left eye turns into towards his nose. Well today he got very upset with the therapist because she took his glasses off and asked him to look at something without them. His vision is awful without his glasses and he couldn't see whatever it was. So she tried to do a diff exercise and put a plastic pair of glasses on him that did not have nose pads...this is a big deal to him. he refuses to wear any glasses of any kind unless they have nose pads. He flipped out. She got frustrated and came and got me to come back. I tried to talk him into finishing his session but he flat our refused. And to be honest this therapist is in no way patient with him. She becomes very snippy and annoyed with his quirks. She is nice enough but I can tell she is just waiting for his hour to be up. I am paying for this therapy but part of me wants to just say screw it and do the surgery. And getting this kid into a hospital...omg. He'd have a heart attack before we even got in the door. He has a phobia of any kind of medicine and is terrified of any and all doctors. any advice? I'm at a loss here.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How do you feel about this therapy since you say there are alternatives? I'm not quite sure what this vision thing is all about, but your child sure dislikes it and the therapist's demeaner doesn't seem to be the best.

    If she really doesn't believe in ADHD or Aspergers I'd head for the hills. She is not qualified to diagnose these disorders or tell you he doesn't have them and both disorders do exist.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Is there an alternative provider of the same type of therapy that might be more acquainted with ADHD/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids?
  4. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    unfortunately this is the only place that offers it. I am torn....I didn't want to do surgery because i knew it would be traumatic for my kiddo but now it seems much easier to go thru the 30 min procedure than deal with- this every week.
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Could you drug him loopy before even leaving the house for the hospital? And maybe explain to the dr.s and have him wake up in a more comfortable setting for him than the hospital? Of course tell him exactly what is going to happen in a social story as well.

    Maybe a list of your sons "rules" for the therapist and you going back with him each time to "help his behavior."
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    If this therapist does not believe in your son's ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis, then I would not continue with her. And to say that he would not have an ADHD diagnosis if his eyes were working properly shows that she clearly has no understanding of it in any way, shape, or form. Who is the doctor who recommended her?
  7. justour2boys

    justour2boys Momto2Boys

    Vision therapy... been there, done that! When my oldest was in 1st grade we did vision therapy during a summer break. We have an hour appointment weekly and daily exercises... and it was 4 months of drama! What worked for us was to have morning appointments and I made sure he had a big breakfast and then after the appointment we would get a treat (like a milkshake), if he worked hard.

    So if you can't get a different therapist, do the best you can for the hour you are with her and put your focus on working with him at home. And I'm sending you cyber-strenght!
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I wish I had "the" answer for you. My eldest easy child had three eye surgeries before she was six for "lazy eyes". It was really stressful and she had no ADHD, AS etc. Do the Pediatric Opthomologists believe that surgery would benefit your son? I'm sending support your way but truthfully the woman does not sound warm and fuzzy. I tend to think that one traumatic surgery might be preferable to ongoing stressful treatments. Hugs DDD
  9. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    I am going to speak to the eye dr and see what she thinks. My son is just really hard to deal with once he decides that he does not want to do something. It is so frustrating.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    When does he see her next? Is he making any progress? How is he with the homework?
  11. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi Jamieh. Has your son received an "official" diagnosis of ADHD? Is there any way the eye doctor can be shown documents or agree to speak to a psychiatrist who knows your son so that she can realise that his difficulties are an innate part of what is going on with him and need to be accommodated for the eye doctor to work with him? Can you come right out and say some of this? It does rather send alarm signals that she declares he would not not have ADHD if his eyes were working properly... such a judgement does not sound very professional at all!
    Do you believe in the eye therapy, if she could become more patient and understanding and your son thereby more accepting? Surgery is a big option and not to be entered into on the rebound, as it were :)
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi and welcome. Honestly if this were me I would opt for the surgery even though he is terrified of the doctors. They can give you medicine to have him take before you even leave the house. One of my kids was terrified silly over the dentist but they gave him something really good before he even left my house. By the time he was in the dentist chair he was pretty much out of it. I wish I could remember the name....I think it was chloryl hydrate and it made him pretty much completely loopy. He rarely remembered he had gone to the dentist.

    Now I dont know how long your son would have to be in the hospital after the surgery or if it is a same day procedure. Either way I would have one BIG treat for him when he wakes up. My youngest had major surgery at 4 and was in the hospital for 5 days. He could only use one arm for about 2 months after the surgery so we had to find things he could do other than video games. I cant remember everything we did but he got a new toy each day he was there and we took him for rides around the hospital in either a wheelchair or the little wagon they had on that floor.
  13. gwend1

    gwend1 New Member

    My daughter is in vision therapy and I am a big fan of it instead of surgery, BUT, in my experience an under skilled doctor and therapist can be a disaster. My daughter has sensory processing disorder (SPD), anxiety and possibly ADHD (or maybe just vision issues and dyslexia...) and the first optometrist we saw just wasn't qualified to work with that as an issue. The vision therapy she had my daughter doing led to daily rages (and not just in reaction to therapy homework- all day long. She was massively overstimulating her vestibular system ). Is your doctor COVD board certified? I found another doctor who is and the difference is amazing. She fully understands my daughter's sensory and vestibular challenges and recognizes them as part of what she is treating.

    I know I would be strongly hesitating against surgery, because it's likely he'll still need VT, but I don't think you have a doctor/therapist who has the education you need, and if they are your only choice....

    I do know that some people will travel many hours once a month or so, get exercises to do at home, and manage the distance to a good provider that way, maybe that's an option. I do wish you the best. It's such a tough decision.