T
toughlovin
Guest
OK so as you know my son was in jail for two weeks for a bunch of petty things he did. All the things he did also involved one or the other or both of two other boys. My son was involved in all the cases, the other boys each did some of them. So my son was in the worst trouble because he was there for all of them.
We got a lawyer and they did a plea agreement which included my son going to rehab. My son had to plead guilty to a couple of charges (out of about 10). Part of the agreement was that eventually he pay about $500 in restitution for a broken window. This is his debt and there is no way we are paying it. So the other boys had their court date this week. If they also have to pay restitution then the cost of it will be split. Seems fair that they should all pay the restitution.
So I talked to the mom of one of the boys. He did not have to plead guilty but the case was continued without a finding and he is on probation so he does not have to pay restitution.. Don't know what happened with the other kid.
So my first and gut reaction was thats not fair. It is not fair that my son has to pay the whole thing on his own. Again my first reaction was I should call the probation officer and check on the status....blah blah blah.
Then I realized, wait a minute... this is NOT my problem. It is unfair if he has to pay it all, but really so what. If you hang out with kids that do this kind of thing sometimes you get screwed!!!! There is yet another lesson here about who you hang out with and what can happen. If you are the one that is there every time there is trouble, then yes the consequences for you are worse. Tough luck.
I have no idea if my son will get any of this message when he finds out....but I am staying out of it all together.
Honestly it amazes me how my protective mother bear skin kicks in even when he is 19, drug addicted, and is doing bad stuff. Like I need to stop protecting him really.
OK guess I need to turn from a bear to a rhino.
I am glad I realized this before I made any phone calls...... that is progress.
We got a lawyer and they did a plea agreement which included my son going to rehab. My son had to plead guilty to a couple of charges (out of about 10). Part of the agreement was that eventually he pay about $500 in restitution for a broken window. This is his debt and there is no way we are paying it. So the other boys had their court date this week. If they also have to pay restitution then the cost of it will be split. Seems fair that they should all pay the restitution.
So I talked to the mom of one of the boys. He did not have to plead guilty but the case was continued without a finding and he is on probation so he does not have to pay restitution.. Don't know what happened with the other kid.
So my first and gut reaction was thats not fair. It is not fair that my son has to pay the whole thing on his own. Again my first reaction was I should call the probation officer and check on the status....blah blah blah.
Then I realized, wait a minute... this is NOT my problem. It is unfair if he has to pay it all, but really so what. If you hang out with kids that do this kind of thing sometimes you get screwed!!!! There is yet another lesson here about who you hang out with and what can happen. If you are the one that is there every time there is trouble, then yes the consequences for you are worse. Tough luck.
I have no idea if my son will get any of this message when he finds out....but I am staying out of it all together.
Honestly it amazes me how my protective mother bear skin kicks in even when he is 19, drug addicted, and is doing bad stuff. Like I need to stop protecting him really.
OK guess I need to turn from a bear to a rhino.
I am glad I realized this before I made any phone calls...... that is progress.